Let Go of Imposter Syndrome So You Can Shine in the Media Spotlight with Susan Harrow
Let Go of Imposter Syndrome So You Can Shine in the Media Spotlight with Susan Harrow
welcome to smart women talk this is your host katana abbott i’m a midlife millionaire coach and a certifiedfinancial planner and i search the world for smart women and a few good menincluding best-selling authors and thought leaders who are on that leading edgeso join us for conversations on money business health and inspirationso you can live with more purpose passion and prosperity welcome to smartWelcome Susan Harrowwomen talk this is katana abbott and our theme today is how to let go of theimposter syndrome so you can shine in the media spotlight and we are goingi am going to be interviewing world renowned media coach susan harrow about how to confidently build your businessand brand through media appearances we’re going to talk about what it takesto get booked consistently and constantly on national media shows and how to makethem count ways to exude executive prison presence while relaxing and being yourself duringmedia appearances on podcasts panels and presentations and how to use your content managementstrategy to grow your business with those media appearances so let me tell you a little bit about susanum susan is a world renowned media coach marketing strategist martial artist andauthor of the best-selling book how to sell yourself it’s actually sell yourself without selling your soul forover 32 years she’s helped thousands of ceos entrepreneurs and business oninnovators shine on oprah 60 minutes today show good morning america freshair marketplace national public radio and cnn without selling their soulsher course the zen of fame your genius gone viral shows people how to promote themselves with integrity and spiritwhat you might not know is that she has a black belt in a keto and was almostsold into slavery for 10 camels in a muleso with that welcome to smart women talk susan it is so great to have you back here it’s so great we were just talkingit was 10 years ago and how wonderful it is that we women have stayed connectedthat way um and i think that’s part of the beautiful natural way of publicity thatconnects that sometimes you have no idea how long what’s going to happen or howlong that’s going to last and i mean i know for even myself like somebody who saw me speak eight years ago connectedsomeone else who i’ve worked with 20 years ago i mean it’s just it really opens up a whole world to youthat you can’t even imagine and that’s sort of the beauty and mystery of it you know it’s amazing too because weboth have been in this business for over 30 years yeah and we’re both still hereand we’re in our third act and we’re still here that’s what i mean you know i know i hadn’t even considered it mythird act i didn’t realize i didn’t realize i was that far along isn’t that amazing i know i know butSusan Harrows storythere’s a huge movement of these women that are in their third act and they’re starting businesses and they arelistening and watching today so um before um we go into the the mediatips what i’d love you to do is can you tell us a little bit about your storybecause i’d love to know um is this something that you know you strive to dowhen you know you went to college to go into pr and and this was your career um or is itsomething you know that you fell into or was there some kind of triggering eventi love that you asked that question because every single pretty much every single podcast or media interview isgoing to start with why do you do what you do how did you get started and that’s your signature story and youmight even have a couple of them so so i’m going to start with when i was in junior highand i was part of three different groups i was part of the jocks because as i’ve always been an athlete i was part of thepopular girls and i was also part of the artist group so i had those three different groups and one day i waswalking out you know in the in the expanse of the yard and i saw a biggroup of people huggle around someone and he was being pummeled and i ran overthere and it was one of my artists friends and i pulled off the bully and screamed at everyone like what are youpeople looking at and like why does this even happen and i said get out of hereand make everybody go and it wasn’t in that moment that i realized it but lateri realized that i’ve always been a protector of beauty of the misfits to the renaissance people the people whohave kind of the wild ideas that have become the people who are really closeto my heart who i love to work with today so i work with the people who are the innovators the creative spirits thepeople who are really making a difference to thousands or millions in a significant way and solving our mostpressing problems wow so how did you so that was likeHow did you end up doing mediasomething that gave you um that vision but how did you end up doingmedia then well i know i mean yeah i was an english major in uh focusing on shakespeare so how useful is that buti’ve always loved language and then i was in high-tech sales and i was always taking writing classes and i um therewas a woman in one of my writing classes and she was a publicist for the north face and i thought gosh that might be areally neat marriage of of my sales ability and my storytellingability and so i just said to her can i um come and watch you and so i went to heryou know her home and she was doing like pr for bill graham presents and you knowum the telluride festival so it’s you know big you know rock concerts all this kind of stuff andso i just started watching what she did and she said to me um why don’t you jump up and make these calls and i was justsince i was in sales i was used to making calls and i didn’t have that fear in the old days we didn’t have the internet yet then so we weren’t sendingthings the email and i just said can i can i listen to you first to hear thepitch and i just listened to her and then i just got up on the phone and i started booking people so i started as apublicist and started booking people on shows and she didn’t really love theclient interface and my first client was missy park of title ix sports and at that time she was just one person in ahuge warehouse and i started placing missy park in like the wall street journal and all these other places andnow she’s the i think second biggest retailer in the country for athletic wearHow did you start your businessthat is magical and thank you yeah and thank god she was open tohaving you come yeah she was just a gal in my writing class and then she started she turnedover some business to me she turned over missy park she was my first client and i just started growing from there and youknow at that time i was focusing on artists authors and entrepreneurs still super close to my heart but now i’mworking with you know ed tech and and educational tech companies and you knowjust people in in kind of expansive people who are who are solving thosepressing problems in some way shape or form the bigger kind of gender equalityand um you know those kinds of those kinds of people who are really looking at likewhat are these issues that are we that we need help with that we want to sort of shift the nationalconsciousness yeah yeah and a good bar of chocolate never i love i love peopleif you’ve got a snack or something you know of uh that’s absolutely delicious i’mtotally open to that you know it’s funny they um i took some media training years ago and theysaid if you’re gonna go to the tv stations for example they said bring foodand whenever they’re doing like a tasting they’re all acting starved welljournalists are starving for the most important part so it always is a good idea to bring food or bring a gift youknow if that’s acceptable in that particular media outlet yeah yeah so let’s talk about this idea of umSelling yourself without selling your soulselling yourself without selling your soul and um is is that is is that one ofthe things that keeps women um you know from you know go from not seeking out publicity i meanare they feeling like it’s a negative thing and it’s gonna they’re gonna look you know they’re gonna look salesy or something i’m surethat’s what it is it’s huge i mean i wrote sell yourself without selling your soul i was speaking at the time andwomen it kept coming up that women felt that they were bragging begging or whoring to get publicity and it doesn’tneed to be so and i actually so that’s why i wrote sell yourself without selling your soul to say you know whatthere’s a way that you can do people call it humble bragging but i don’t think you actually need to be humble ithink it’s it’s a way of showing your expertise and your authority through others and telling thekind of stories that connect to the audience and really serve the media andif you start to think about if we can just flip our thinking into service versus selfthen it really changes the whole atmosphere but this is a huge thing for women and it’s also a huge thing tospeak up um you know when you are when you’re on like a panel on a tv panel or or anykind of panel or podcast where there’s more than one guest or um you want to have the ability to jumpin and that takes some practice to be able to jump in to wrangle a rambler to knowhow to handle a hostile person and really be able to role play those situations so reallyoften times when i work with women either one-on-one or in a group mastermind or in in a coursewhat i focus on is being able to handle themselves in any situation and actuallydo the role play because you don’t know how you’re going to respond until you’re actually in that situationand there’s research to back that by the way because um there was recent researchby i don’t know how to pronounce her name but judy wodesco but she was looking at gender harassment in a meetin a in a uh in an interview and she said you know she asked all the women like how wouldyou react if you were asked this inappropriate question every woman said i would speak up i would tell him he can’t talk to me that way i would iwould say that that’s inappropriate i wouldn’t take it and then they put those women in actual interviews and nobodydid anything like that and so what happens is what we think we’re gonna dowe don’t actually know until we’re in that situation it’s the same thing in martial arts in aikido you have topractice that exact situation you have to practice those those different situations so you’ll know what it feelslike emotionally so what they didn’t anticipate was the emotional feel likehow it’s going to be when somebody actually puts you on the spot in a media interview or in a sexual harassmentsituation how you know how is that going to feel and then can you take that breath can you groundyourself can you say and do and be who you want to be oh my gosh i know what itTrigger pointsis too because i do all this stuff with money personalities so when you when when you ask him thatquestion they’re in their head and they say one thing but then when they actually are in theexperience then they feel it in their body and all of our experiences are stored intheir body so when they feel it in their body that is going back to a past experiencethat they had at some point in their life and it’s triggering them and their little girl pops up and says don’t sayanything because you’re gonna get embarrassed or you’re gonna you know you’re gonna messup and so then they shut down and so what you said about you just said that you said they have to go into their bodyand breathe and move that energy right that’s exactly right and i love that you brought up triggering because i thinkthat’s what happens is we get triggered so sometimes what happens is that’s connected to an old experience or traumaor something that’s happened before that we haven’t resolved and so a lot of imean i think publicity as much self-development as it is professional development because you’re masteringyourself to master the media and you want to start to become aware of where your trigger points are somebody justcalled it a flash point and i’m like oh i’m going to write that down what’s your flat isn’t that great i see you writingit down too what is your i hadn’t heard it like that i tried to remember who i was just in a casual conversation i’mlike flashpoint yes it’s also a flashpoint or a flare right like where we react and we uh we don’t respond in away that we wish we had now we can’t look at we can’t imagine every singlesituation but usually there’s categories and so we work on worst case scenariosquestions you don’t want to be asked personal and um because the hostile interviewers canreact in two ways one it’s too intimate and women get a lot of that much more than mengive what does that mean it’s too intimate a question uh katana i love you know thethe the way that you um your your your breasts are hyped up so nicely underyour sweater what kind of bra do you use oh my god so that’s an extreme but do you knowwhat i’m saying like if you’re one woman to woman sometimes women do it to each other it’s not always a man but a manmight say something like um you have a little a little you know financial literacy businesskatana tell how you you started your little business ohjust so you know immediately we’re like and then again you get the trigger in your body and then you feel small oh mygod quiet way and then there’s the aggressive questions which is you know which is the 60 minutes or theyou know bill o’reilly i used to train you know my clients to be on bill o’reilly where you know you needed to know how to handle yourself when heinterrupted you when he wouldn’t let you talk and then you had to be able to interrupt back andget your point and hold steady and not sweat and turn red and and and fumblebumble or freeze you know it’s amazing you’re just saying this because i remember when iHow to handle aggressive questionsi finally started going out and doing things in the public and i got on boards and i used to sit there and justbe be so worried that they were going to come to me and i would have to like talkabout myself you know and and so you’re talking about helping people with someone in in themedia that’s interviewing them when you know a lot of women still are just the idea of having to do a little 30-secondelevator pitch is scaring him to death so what does a woman do when whensomething like that does happen how do they get their their composure do you have some tips for us right nowyeah so the first thing is what i said is remember to breathe because we we hold our breath you know because whathappens also neurologically is that when you um what happens if you’re not breathing iswe can’t we can’t access that part of the brain it short circus the it increases cortisol and short-circuitsthe the memory of our our short-term memory so one of the things that you want to do is get into the long-termmemory you really want to dial in your messaging so even if you’re caught off guardthat you still have access to the long-term memory versus the short term and you can call on that so the firstthing to do is take a breath and then feel your feet on the floor you know on the ground so that’s something that youcan practice um in the moment but also i recommendwhen i work one-on-one with people or in in a mastermind group i we go throughexercises that we do or processes that we do on a regular basisso you start to build up that mental and muscle memory in you so we might dotapping meditation the one command and then do breath workso you already have it available to you and you’re already like 10 steps aheadso another thing that you can just do in the moment is just like again like you might just touch yourself if you’re in ain a seat seating you can touch your own hand because that brings you back to thebody and then you you can use a transition phrase you only use this one one timeyou the this this one one time because otherwise uh it’s a by time thing butyou can say um that’s a fascinating question that just gives you time to reorientyourself and then you can say your message that you came to save to sayand you’re complimenting them and you’re complimenting them like actually that’s why i say just use that one time yeahyeah because that’s a really nice rapport builder but it’s also a buy time well and it also maybe kind of shakesGrounding yourselfthem up a little bit that wow she she did i didn’t get her you knowand then you actually do a compliment and then it gives you a chance to come back um and and come in with a differentanswer so um and ground yourself i love the idea of grounding yourself too so a lot oftimes what i i believe what happens is um we we are in our head which is fasttwitch energy and your idea of grounding to mother earth i like to say with our feetis we’re getting into slow twitch and so even focusing on the base of our spinewhere um what’s the flow twitch that’s effective twitch energy yeah and it’s really atthe base of our spine in our base chakra and so when if we can focus on the baseof our spine and um you can even do that by when you’re breathingto to just um you know um bring bring it like when you’re breathing in and then you want tobreathe out breathe out and um squeeze your core or like a little kegeland air down to your feet and then like a bellow when you breathe it you know when you relax your core then it’s like abellow and it brings the air back in and then all of a sudden you’re you’re just in a totally different um i love thatnow there i do i just thought of an exercise that women could do but you wouldn’t do this on air you would do it all because when you talked about kegelsso one thing that you can do um that will really help release your energy really quick and i learned this fromsteve sieverson who holds the world record for holding his breath 20 minutesunder ice yes so he’s a i took his breath breath class because there’s all differentkinds of because if we can control our breath we can control ourselves we can control the world that’s how it that’s imean we’re not trying to control other people but that’s it’s the key is your breath so one of the exercises he had usdo is you tighten your throat you do a kegel so you’re tightening youryour your um you’re tightening your anus as well as your kegel area the jj area however idon’t know there’s a nice way to say it remember yeah so you’re doing whole mula bunda soit’s here you’re you’re pulling your core together in the mulabanda and soyou’re doing your vajayjay and your anus all together so you take a breath inand hold all all togetherand then you release it and you can make a sound like that and you can actually you’llfeel the energy like all along the core and down there you can just feel it like so the longer you hold your breath toothe more you get that whoosh of energy but that’s something that you can practice um on your own to just be able to pullyour energy together and and pull yourself to your body just that kind of awareness here here here here right likejust to have that awareness of the internal muscles of our body is helpfulyeah do you think and i think so many of us hold our breath and they say if you hold your breath on the inhale it raises yourHeart Mathstress and if you hold your breath on the exhale you lose your energy and iconstantly just hold my breath on the exhale and then do little tiny shallow breaths and i notice it and um becausethere’s the heart core they have a um little thing you can wear heart math it is and it tells you yeah if you’re notbreathing and stuff so people can get a little tool like that they can say oh my gosh i’m not breathing i need to breatheyou know that’s a great way to do it um but just to notice are you holding your breath on the inhale or the exhaleand then just pra practice is breathing um with dr sue from the year of miraclesum she she uses the channel breath but you’re breathing in through the sun to yourcord down to mother earth and then back up and so you’re you’re breathing this way and i like to um to stop in the coreand that’s where you and then for some reason it just takes that sun energy and and mother earth i call ityou know the grounding and the energy because we all want to shine and be powerful and i think this is going tohelp everybody i love that and i love we’re focusing on the breath and bringing those back to the body becausei do think there’s a resistance to being in the body and the more we can be in our body and the more we can feelourselves as um as people who are worthy to walk this earththen we strengthen that in ourselves and we strengthen that in others i wrote down aquote from the dow to ching which explains when you are true to yourself you are true to the tao you remind thosearound you of who they’ve always been so i love that if when you bringyourself into this resonance you can bring others to it and i think women can really relate to this in terms of theirchildren but also with customer clients students your course participants i think it’s everyone we only changeourselves we don’t change the world so it’s this working on ourselves and beingthe example that we want in the world i love gandhi sprays my life is my message so everything you do say are and thinkneeds to be in complete alignment before you put your offer into the worldand that’s when things really start to happen in an organic and natural way andthat everything sort of lines up so you know i’m glad so glad we talkedMarketing Tipsabout this thing with the breath and the body and getting calm because we’re going to now talk about some of the tipsof marketing and pr and without being able to be confidentin your body none of the tips are going to matter because you’re just going to glaze over and and go blank so or justyou know you don’t want to get up go get up there and if you turn into you know dripping mess eitherbecause you’re just too scared so remember one one person who wanted to become a clientsaid her biggest fear was well she had a couple big fears but one of her biggest fears was that um the media interviewwould turn into a monologue she she was invited onto a podcast that had a million subscribers so it was really bigand she hadn’t um she she said i don’t want it just to be talking all about me that was number one a monologue aboutmyself her second fear was that um she would be inundated with newbie um peoplewanting a piece of her that they would want to um you know that they that theywould she would be inundated with calls and it would somebody said to her you’re going to be exhausted two days later andthen the third thing was that she didn’t have a funnel and i said well we we can work on all three of those things youwant to say this you want to work on stories that really resonate with the audience withwhat they want to know but you also are speaking to the kind of clients andcustomers and business that you want to grow your business and you’re designing those stories specifically to that thenof course you’re going to have your system set up so you move people into um wherever you know so they can get toknow you better whatever level they are ready to engage with you but part of that is taking those newbiesand they don’t have access to you they need to have and we as women are so generous it’s like we think we have to service everyone no so those newbieswill get access to information that will help them grow and then and then the last part is youknow the the call to action like you know she and i were talking that even ifyou have the right call to action you have the right stories that even one person for her for that for that podcastif one person engaged with her that would mean millions of dollars in business you know and then i was just on thephone with another super high level um woman yesterday and we were talking about like one of the titles of the shewas she was she’s adding more people to her financial real estate brokerage firm and she saidyou know i’m i’m really mentoring some of these newbies and i’m spending a lot of time on that and i said well why imean who do you actually want in there and she said i i need experienced umreal estate agents and i said well what’s the criteria for that because we want to put that criteria into whatyou’re saying so then those are the people that are going to reach out to you and when you do get newbies becauseyou want some those are funneled to her those are going to be funneled to her she just hired you know an engagement person thatis going to groom those newbies but she’s not going to talk to them so she said oh my gosh the title of one of mypodcasts that i’ve been doing is is talking about how um i think it was it was something about umhow stay-at-home moms could be become uh superstar real estate investors how manypull them you’re gonna get you’re gonna get stay-at-home moms and you know and so she’s like we have to reshape thatwhole conversation so even the title of what she’s talking about to start to move those people whoshe wants to build her business and brand into so it is a very and she’s extreme you know multi multi multimillionaire so it doesn’t it’s this kind of consciousness that we that we’re shiftingas women to say we want if we want to serve everyone let’s put systems in place that we canbut in a way that serves us and we really we’re looking at whather important things for her were significance joy and um i can’t remember the third onebut it was like having more time to herself and i said well then we want to look at these things that are important to youand make sure that they’re incorporated into your pr campaign and how you whatyou say in every media interview does that make sense oh it’s so amazing what you just talked about was valuesmm-hmm yeah yeah and i was thinking about that even then how do you want what life do you want to live foryourself and how do you want to grow your business and practice right and who i want to work with and and what is thestructure of your business and is it supporting that and then is everything you do say arm think and when you’re onthese medium interviews is it supporting that um so you can protect your time yourenergy and um and give what you want what you’re here to give what you came to this earth togive and so what you’re saying is so important because most of the peoplethat are out there they’re having to to the front stage i call it front stage work you know business development it’smedia it’s being the spokesperson it’s the idea person and if that’s if that’s your um uniqueability then what you need to do is find someone who loves to do the backstage work yesfollow up all the details and yes absolutely and there’s one other thing and um i gotthis from one of my clients and it was brilliant it’s like a z yeah it’s like a z so usually theentrepreneurs the idea person and then they need someone that they can share the idea with and then that personwill tell them um they will say okay let’s put a pin in it or that’s a great idea let’s go for it but they’ll they’llsave it for them on a you know they’ll save it for them somehow right and then that goes down to the other corner andit’s gonna they need a refiner because if you have an idea and then that refiner will refine it and clean itup and give it to the implementer because for years i had an idea and i just gave it to the implementer and itwas a disaster so does this make sense yes so you need the refiner in there youknow you need the refiner and then you test your your um ideas out in the marketplace right and see how itresonates yeah absolutely so what you have been talking about there is that what you call a marketing funnelyes part about how yeah yeah so so yeah a marketing funnel so it’s it’s havingthose three things in in place so in i’ve constructed we talked about the zeno fame your genius gone viral in thatcourse i have three different um sections the first is your messagingbecause you you before you reach out to the media uh you want to have your messaging down your key messaging whatis it that you that you’re looking to grow in your business so you want to have your messaging down before youreach out to the media then the second part is you want to have your systems in place that’s your marketing funnel soyou can move people through an engagement sequence whatever that is for youum right whether it’s on your website whether it’s a phone call whether you know all any whatever thatengagement sequence is with this excerpt of your book you know to buy the book to go into your course and then the thirdpart of that is to actually create a pr campaign a strategic pr campaign whereyou’re reaching out and getting booked in the media in a way that suits your personality and your style and yourenergy and and really thinking about like when i work with a pr i work with pr firmsthey do the booking i do the media training and what we really look at is where should we start this person so i have a currentclient now who’s in the leadership space and she’s got a an incredible she did incredible research that she started 10years ago and it’s now starting to move into the general public and other leaders areusing it but it’s not credited to her and it’s her her original research and she’s been she’s got case studies tosupport this in in lots of different companies over those past 10 years so what we’re starting for heris starting a campaign focusing on print first because much harder to steal things when they’re in print she has abook but where it’s you know self-published so we’re moving we’re moving first into the print space soit’s solid it’s on this earth right and then we’re moving into the podcast spaceand then lastly would be tv and radio and then tv because you want to sort of grow yourexpertise as well in your comfort level you want to you want to move outside of your comfort zone but not like in a bigleap where we’re doing it gradually but establishing your expertise and and so you areestablished as the thought leader or the person in your space that then if there’s trademark issues orcopyright issues it’s already been established and that’s really important for women too because we’re so generouswith our information and and things can be so easily stolen now on the internet and you know and andi know this happened all the time in nsa where somebody would tell a story and somebody would steal that story even though it was their personal story soyou put that in print and you and you start to groove it in into in podcasts like yours or on tv sothat story isn’t is is is your story so if somebody else tells it they go wait aminute that’s katana’s story you know that’s not your story rightThe Zen of Fameabsolutely wow that’s great so let’s take um a moment here because i know before we started um our show today youwe talked a little bit about this program you have the zen of fame i mean what a great name what what is that isthat where you take people through this stuff because yeah the biggest thing we find we have a survey um that we haveand women do when they come in to unlock your financial power at our academyand the big issue is no one really knows where to start you know you hear you got to do thisyou’ve got to do that you know no one really knows where to start and you said you know messaging systems and then thepr campaign so i’ve got the messaging and systems i don’t have a pr campaign so i’m reallyinterested to hear this and i know others are listening and feeling the same way maybe they haven’t even donethe messaging yet yeah so the messaging comes first so there’s a process that i use where wejust listen to the way that you speak naturally and then start to hone thoseum stories into a form and so within the course the zen of fame your genius goneviral i have lots templates because i think people work really well withtemplates like there are certain forms that you’re going to hear over and over and over again and a simple one forexample that you can use right now is um a headline so a strong headline one twothree you always hear this on podcast number one my advice number two number three so so um so headline one two threeand then you wrap up with an epiphany so i could have said if i was talking about the course um there’s there’sthree things that are necessary for a pr campaign um so that’s my headline it doesn’t have to be super sexy it can just be likethat or you know it could have been like the biggest mistakes that people make is not having these three things in placefor a pr campaign right so i could do it one of those two ways and there’s probably a dozen ways i could do it number one they don’t have theirmessaging down number two they don’t have their systems in place and number three they don’t have a very consciouspr campaign that is going to put them into the places where theirwhere they’re going to be seen heard and connecting with the people that they want to do business withwonderful so so that would be an example so we’ve templated those kinds of things and inthat course we also offer uh um the course on its own which you can go through your own at your own pace sothere’s videos in there there’s lots of support in pdfs videos audios what allthe different mediums and the other level of support if this resonates with you is to be in a mastermind with mewhere once a week you’re in a group working through any kind of challenge that you have but also can role playactual media interviews you know so everything from the the uninformed the rambler the interruptor the hostile just to shape your your campaign and do that on a gradual basisbecause here’s the thing when i work with the pr firms as well we work first with getting the core messaging downand then after that it’s an iterative process you’re booked on a segment or you’re you’re booked in a in print forexample and then i media train you to those mediums and to that specific mediumbecause print is way different than planning for a podcast right and and how you can manage those interviews and thenwe look at what did you do well and what do you want to shift for next time so then those 10 000 hours of improvementis like you’re making little changes the whole way through you can say oh my god this is where i got derailed or i wish iwould have said that night and i totally forgot you know and and all which happens it happens to all of us ithappens to me too i’m like oh my god that was one point i wanted to make and i totally forgot so it’s about beingcompassionate with yourself but really starting to become awareof what we talked about those trigger points but really being able to manage yourself in those interviews so you areconnecting deeply with your audience and you share the things that you came to shareum and really what you came to give oh and i love that because um even if youImposter Syndromedo an event and then you feel it was horrible others are not not you know you have such a high standard for yourselfthey’re not going to know but the most important thing we can do whenever we have a mistake or a bad experienceis to breathe and then sit down and look at it because our mistakes and um issues like that areour greatest teacher i agree and i know i know i think you’re wrapping up but i want to make sure totalk about imposter syndrome because we haven’t touched on that just in case so i meanyeah so if we can that would be super great because i think you know it was so funnybecause in my master my own mastermind class where i’m being mentored by someone one of the people in that thatclass said susan i don’t think you should call it imposters because i think a lot of women don’t relate to that and i said really she said you should callit like occasional self-doubt or something i’m thinking gosh i don’t know i’m seeing imposter syndrome everywhereand people kind of actually um glorifying it like i have impostersyndrome and then talking about their situation where they’re stuck in impostor syndrome and i thought wellwe’re just grooving it in then if we’re giving constant kudos forhaving imposter syndrome so do you mind should i go and talk no i want to do that because then and i’ll say somethingbecause about that um i raised i was at american express financial services andi got invited to come to this women’s organization because i had raised ten thousand dollars for them you knowa sponsorship for them yeah it was really exciting so it’s all these vps from the big companies in detroit i gointo the special board room before the event and they all think i’m a vice president of american express see and and i leftthere and i went wow people see us so differently than we see ourselves because we see ourselvesthrough that eyes of that little girl with all those disempowering beliefs right yeah and that’s where you feellike a fake um the imposter syndrome so i think it’s a major issue it’s probablythe biggest issue that we have is these beliefs because they keep us playing small so please please shareyeah i i really i really think so too so let’s address i want to address this on a super practical level because umbecause you know we all have our own blocks beliefs and patterns we just have them so to think that this is going togo away when i say let go of it i really mean um it’s a process just like doingthese media interviews is an ongoing process we’re always in we’re alwayswe’re always taking shape and and reforming ourselves so i think thatwe’re really three people we are our past we are our present person person and then we are our future selfwhen you keep in mind your future self how do i want to be what do i want to live into what’s the legacy i want toleave and to really have this in your mind it’s the same thing when i when i work with anyone we talk about what doyou want the results to be of your media campaign like what is it that and are wealways moving toward that so we’re always looking at that so when we’re going through that iterative process and you go darn i didn’t do this in themedia interview it’s like we’re keeping that deepest intention how i want to serve and what i want to to umgive to in the interview always we’re keeping that in mind and then moving toward that and it’s the same thing withimposter syndrome so it’s like when you have that jealous pen you’re on a panel and somebody gets introduced and you gooh my god their credentials are like so much bigger than mine and they’ve done so much more and oh my god i’m small i’mlittle and i don’t even want to talk now and she’s got the light and and i’m going to bein the shadows and nobody’s going to like me like these are all the things that are running through our mind at the same time rightso the first thing to to think about is to that to take that breath and to sayto yourself you know focus on what is it that i am here to give that only thatonly i can that that my prepared you know you’ve prepared some talks but inin retrospect you want to say does that person have qualities that i want and ifso you want to set yourself up on a path to move toward those qualities but in the moment when we feel thatthat that excruciating compare and despair that’s when we want to take the breathand bring us back to ourselves and say who do i want to be in this moment andwhat am i here to give the audience and then to prepare for that then you can do thisbefore you do any kind of panel is really start to gather all of your testimonials your random compliments andi know whenever i’m feeling like super insecure i call up all of my friends and say just tell me all the good thingsabout myself tell me and then they say these these things that i’m like reallyyou know and my friend sark who is who’s really she’s really great at this kind of thing she’s the one one person that icall too did you say sark yes sir yeah oh wonderful yeah she’s one of my dearfriends and so um one of the things that she asked for it wasn’t this last year but here before for her birthday presentshe had us all write out everything that we loved about her andyes and all the circumstances and and so she has that in a fileyou know so if we’re doubting ourselves we need to look at number one our accomplishments really on paper we we wewant to have those so we’re like you know is this really true like the byron katy question like is this really truedo you have evidence of this and then have your evidence already stacked up can you so you can sayactually it’s not about the evidence it’s about my feeling inside rightand then we have processes like tapping and like the one command to work on thosefeelings when they come up so as you continually to work on those um issues they diminishbecause long ago i um i just read another piece on vivi kananda swami babykananda and he’s not someone very well known in the western culture but my mom broughtback all his books from india when she went like 30 years ago and i read the ball and and one of the things that hehad said is um [Music] in terms of focusing on the self is thatwe like we never teach anyone anything we just bring out the good in otherpeople and so what i think about in imposter syndrome is if if you know we’refocusing on bringing out the best in other peopleand so if we’re not doing that for ourselves then other people you can’t do it for someoneelse right so yeah oh my gosh and then also all theirAuthenticitycredentials don’t mean anything if people hear you speak or have aconversation with you and that comes through yes right yes and authenticity and kick inservice yeah oh i love that well um okay so we’re at the top of the hour and andi will point out how you are so brilliant on an interview is that you reminded the hostoh so you know so i had lots of things i wanted to ask yes but you brought up the mostimportant thing which i we really didn’t want to miss this so i think people should point that outi just heard a great phrase on terry gross she just did an interview yesterday with this woman on um it wason um uh child the child care issue and gender inequality right right now and umshe said um what was the phrase that she said that was so great she goesyou haven’t yet yet asked me about this and such andshe’s and she went right into it she goes we haven’t yet touched on this and such and she’s and she just she justwent into it because it was a it was something important about women in the workplace i don’t remember what it isbut i’m like i have to write down that phrase and i was driving so i couldn’t write it down but i’ll have to go back to that interview and find the exactphrase but i love that because terry gross is such a fantastic interviewer but this woman wanted to get out thisone point that hadn’t been asked and and she said we haven’t touched on this or something like that and and thenshe went into it and you just did that i guess i did i guess i incorporated ityeah so yeah so i just learned that as a you know i’m always on the lookout forthose kinds of things because the way that i developed the xenopham course and my whole um philosophy and working withpeople is watching people who do this well and reverse engineering it and thenputting it into a form or a formula or a template if possible i’m like what howdid that why was that person so effective and then i reverse engineer it and write it out and say well that’s a that’s aformat that we don’t we don’t try to take what you say and jam it into something that doesn’t fit we go oh canit be more succinct and can it be better if we tighten up the formand sometimes not you know there’s a million forms there’s not just one way of saying something but but it’s a wayof consistently being able to create your own messaging in a way that’s umeasy for you right right because it has to roll off your tongue or you’re going to feel like a fakeyes exactly yeah it’s got to feel good to you that’s the most important thing it’s gotto feel good in your own bones yeah and and so don’t ever let any media trainertry to put words in your mouth that don’t feel like your own or anyone for that matter yep and when you get alignedBrandingwith your brand and so just this last year i um rebranded from retirement reinvention to my registered trademarkmidlife millionaire which is brilliant yeah but i i had i had like had ithidden all these years it was there but not really and um long story about it but um a dearfriend and i got in her program and and she had the whole class of vote on it you know on zoomand it was brilliant yes and it was like and i went back and i did it immediately and then everything shifted so i’ll alsosay that when we’re not aligned with our path with our life path or our purposeum and what happens sometimes well i think it happens a lot is it gets very difficultand it’s because the universe is going you’re on the right on the wrong path you’ve got to readjust so then when youget aligned with your messaging and your branding everything shiftsthat’s such a brilliant point i’m so glad you you brought that up because words are the ambassadors of our spiritand you making that shift then shifted everything so that’s the importance of words but it’s also the importance ofthe feeling tone behind the words your own your tone the way that you communicate it your facial language yourbody language and um your verbal language that’s what all needs to be in sync and your enthusiasmand then and what’s resonating with people was that that particular phrase and when iheard you say it i’m like oh my god it’s so brilliant and i saw it on there i’m like well that’s brilliant because ityou know exactly what it is and it’s easy to say and it’s easy to rememberand it’s what you do right right and i find so i finally have it out there and i’m just so excited so on the next showConnect with Susani’ll give a little you know next show i’m going to bring in my web designer the copywriter and then the funnelperson that helped me with rebranding and getting it all in place because i thinkwe need this so we brought you first and then we’re bringing them to talk about that because people um probably want toknow more about that too but so how do people connect with you because this has just been such a brilliant conversationand you brought so many i mean they’re gonna want more i know everyone listening wants to know more and yourwebsite is such a perfect example of um you know a nice way to get to know youlet’s say thank you because you have wonderful three brands yeah yeah which took which is why wetook so long to coordinate this interview because there’s a lot of things in that so it’s prsecrets.comand on there there’s a lot of there’s a whole section of free um there’s a whole section of free things that you candownload so that’s a wonderful place to start should we mention one of the names of the things yeah and like when you first like when i first came in i justHow to pitch to the mediasigned up for it you you have a an offer immediately and then yeah so can you yeah go aheadand talk about it so they know what you expect because it’s definitely a pop it’s a pop-up whichever pop down so it’sthe 100 word email that can get the media to call you so it’s how to be super succinct when you’re pitching andagain you want to have your messaging down before you do the pitch but this is a way to just have a very succinct pitchbecause we’re all so time scrunched now that really the paragraph pitch is starting to be the way to go you canalways give more information later and then the other one was own your worth um five ways to say no without blame shameor i think i said something else but i can’t remember but i just i wanted to give that to yourwomen too because it’s it’s um it focuses on how to set boundaries but it also gives you these really greatscripts um in nice ways to say no and how to navigate the nose in in ways fromeveryone some from somebody asking to pick your brain to asking for inappropriate things sowe’re asking for i think i’ve got asking for a raise or asking for you know ask just asking for more of whatever thatyou want in there yeah wonderful wonderful well it’s so save the website againprsecrets.com thank you for prompting me yes dot com like public relations secretsdot com and i will i look forward to meeting all of you there’s a place there for wherewe can connect on any level that’s ready that’s right for you wonderful wonderful and when your next program comes out umOutroanyone who’s on our mailing list um they will receive will also help promote your next event coming up because i i reallywant to share you with everyone so thank you so much for coming here today and sharing your brilliance and and justbeing so generous thank you so much i’m so thrilled and i can’t wait to reconnect with all of youraudiences it’s been two ten years you have a lot of people who we’ve all aged gracefully together and then newpeople coming in so i can’t promote all of you thank you now we’re the sagesi love it so um do you have one tip one smart women tip you’d like to leave us with you musthave a message a content messaging strategyso what that means is you want to have a variety of stories statistics factsvignettes anecdotes analogies that shape uh shape the way that you work in theworld that is going to grow your business in the direction that you want so it’s a very conscious strategy thatyou then integrate into the normal flow of conversation why is that necessary i was just talking i just listened to apodcast host and she said oh my god she said i had on this really famouswell-known speaker and he completely bombed and and she said she couldn’t figure it out and she talked to himafterwards what he goes i’m not getting anywhere with my podcast likenothing’s coming of them and she said well did you prepare for this he said no i just wing itso my tip is don’t ever wing it be completely prepared so be completelyprepared so you can be free to be spontaneous but you want to have your key messages down that you can integrateinto the flow of the conversation so each time you’re on a podcast or a tvshow or print whatever that is you are reaching the people that need and wantwhat you have and you’re growing your business in the direction that you want wow perfect and that’s a little bitabout sound bites so if women want more of you visitprsecrets.com whoa thank you again thank you thank you allright wonderful so everyone thank you for joining us we we just love sharing these wonderfulthought leaders and change agents with you um if you want to know who is coming tothe show please come to joinsmartwomen.com you’ll get our monthly theme based easingand you’ll know who the guests are and the guests share articles and goodies and when they have an event coming up wepromote it so you want to go to joinsmartwomen.com and join the smart women communityand don’t forget to subscribe subscribe to smart women talk at your favorite podcast platform as well as our youtubechannel where you can actually watch it and it’s um youtube katana abbott sountil our next show go out and live with more purpose passion and prosperitysmart women talk is brought to you by smart women’s empowerment a 501c3 nonprofit project of united charitablemusic by bill lucas from his album when it rains available on apple music and spotifycatch us wherever you listen to your favorite podcast and be sure to join our free community atjoinsmartwomen.com to access all our free smart women resources
Like what you read? Share it!
WE THOUGHT YOU’D ALSO LIKE THESE POSTS