I was talking to my neighbor next door who works for a famous matchmaking firm. She’s a warm and cozy person who people feel comfortable with right away. She has a knack for putting people at ease — including celebrities, princesses and the rich beyond imagination, who are her clients.
Want to listen to this as an audio with lots of extra juicy details? Here you go.
But they all have the same problem we all have. They are looking for love. Yes, sometimes in the wrong places — or with the wrong people or they are focused on the wrong things – like stating that his dates couldn’t have wrinkly, flabby arms – which was a deal breaker for one wealthy patron who was not having any luck with the ladies.
But what my neighbor noticed was that many of her clients didn’t have some skills necessary to connect with potential mates. How to make significant small talk, when to hold eye contact, what constituted appropriate touch, ways to keep a conversation going to find common interests, how to get to that “click.”
Furthermore they missed social cues, and were woefully unaware how they were perceived. (Like one man, a real snoozer, who kept saying how dynamic and engaging he was who put everyone in the office to sleep!)
Perception is reality in both media appearances and in personal relationships.
Which got me thinking about how much fun it would be to coach people who are looking for love but not having any luck — meaning that “the one” or even “the fun one of the moment” was eluding them. Which is essentially what I do everyday with people (clients and course participants) during media coaching or video training, so their audiences (hundreds, thousands, millions of people) and the media (reporters and producers) love them.
So why not extend this training the land of love?
What prompted me to share this with you?
While talking to my neighbor I got a little spark. I thought, gee, would be so delighted to coach her clients on their facial, body, verbal language (+ tone – so important!) so could let their true selves shine through the nervousness and anxiety, the sweaty palms, the fidgeting, the mean voices in their heads, so they could relax and just be themselves — while being an excellent listener who can “read” the situation and respond, creating a deep connection instantly.
In some ways it’s a thought experiment that’s not unique, but the author, Pam Grout, makes a compelling case backed by science, about how to do it. (And in a very conversational and quick read way).
So, I’m giving it a try. (Although I do this all the time in various forms this was a bit of a new challenge).
If any of you would like an hour or two of coaching on camera (via Skype) to role-play potential dating – or domestic scenarios (you’re in a relationship that you’d like to grow the love, kindness, fun, sexiness). I’m offering a limited amount of sessions – 5 max.
Because the usual minimum fee to hire me for $2000 for 4 hours there is no initial consult as these sessions are 1-2 hours only.
So you decide whether this is something you feel is right for you. (Did you get a zing? A full-body yes? Watch for it. Feel for it. Because we often ignore these inklings that guide us toward the right next step.)
You can hop on over here to purchase 1-2 hours (enter either $500 or $1000 in the appropriate field) and one of my team will get back to you ASAP to schedule a time for us to talk on camera from your home or office (via Skype).
Be sure to put “LOVE” in the comments box so I know what kind of consult you want.
Prefer to listen to the rest this as an audio with lots of extra juicy details? Here you go.
One more thing…. If you’ve been thinking that you want to be more comfortable on video – for your website, tutorials, YouTube, Instagram etc. then let’s chat about how to use your personality and the camera to your advantage, connect to your audience, and of course how to Sell Yourself Without Selling Your Soul™.
Videos not only engage your audience but can be the deal maker or breaker for inviting in clients, customers and sales (and love, right?).
Some things we’ll do together:
3 secrets the top TED talk speakers use to get millions of views – that you can use in all your videos.
How to use your eyes to draw in the right audience (clients, customers, sales, opportunities) for you — and discourage time-wasters.
Methods to apply incantation and intention to tap deeply into who you are to show your true essence so you and your videos stand out—even if you’re in a highly competitive field.
The right way to use your own natural gestures that inspire audiences to like and trust you (no steeples or pyramids or fake, canned movements).
Why you absolutely shouldn’t read a script (and how to get your point across gracefully and effectively).
In the near future I’ll be featuring client, course participant and Ezine subscriber’s success stories on the blog, Instagram + Facebook.
So if anything you’ve read in the Ezine or on the blog or that we did together one-on-one or in a course, that helped you directly and you would like to do a quick video about it, or send in a pic with a description — I’d be delighted to feature you — and of course link back to your website and social media channels. (Instant publicity!). Make sure to include your website URL all your social handles.
Just send me an email with a link to your video, written testimonial and attach your pic. Thank you!!
For a year. I’d put pen to paper in a beautiful journal and out would pour — drivel.
Sometimes I’d write to get all the minutae out of my head. Other times I’d write a list. But the end “result” was nothing of consequence.
I mentioned the writing process we go through in Wild Writing to Sherry Richert Belul and Alison Luterman the other night as we crunched skinny french fries and sipped bubbly water at the Zuni Cafe in San Francisco with before her poetry reading at Martuni’s.
Alison said that as she was writing she was always looking to have a finished product – be it a play, a poem or a story. So to write without a “goal” wasn’t easy.
I’m was the Alison camp. Until I wasn’t. I’m not sure what happened exactly, other than I let go a little and just allowed the drivel to flow. And there was plenty of it.
And then something shifted. In my business writing too. I’m writing up a storm and creating new videos and products and stuff at such a speed I wish that there were more hours in the day!
Like this video about how to be kinder to yourself after a media appearance (or any new venture for that matter).
I’m not yet in the place where I can love my drivel.
Then today I read this in Sunil Bali’s ezine which put me on the path (another shift!)…
“The ceramics teacher announced on the first day of class, that he was dividing the class into two groups.
One half of the class would be graded solely on the quantity of work they produced, and the other half would be graded solely on the quality of their work.
On the final day of class the teacher would bring his bathroom scales and weigh the work of the quantity group: fifty pounds in weight of pots rated a Grade “A”, forty pounds a Grade “B”, and so on.
Those being graded on quality, however, needed to produce only one pot – albeit a perfect one – to get a Grade “A”.
Come grading time a curious fact emerged: the works of highest quality were all produced by the group being graded for quantity. It seems that while the quantity group was busily churning out piles of work – and learning from their mistakes – the quality group had sat theorizing about perfection, and in the end had little more to show for their efforts than grandiose theories and a not very good pot.
Whether its business, art or sport, it’s not the quest to achieve one perfect goal that makes you better, it’s the skills you develop from doing a volume of work.
Many people want to promote something — like a book or themselves. But what the most savvy entrepreneurs know is that that model isn’t scalable — because it’s your one-on-one time.
When I work with clients I encourage them to look for the intellectual property that they already have that we can convert into a course, a program, or a downloadable audio, video, printable that they can sell to dozens, hundreds or thousands.
Then, when people who have heard, read or seen you in the media come to your website they can purchase something other than your expertise and time.
Maybe you’ve wondered this yourself….
I know I’m still learning ways to be able to do this and I want to be fully transparent with you here, that although I teach this, I too can continue to learn and perfect these.
This is where more people focus. How to get more clients. But it can be short-sighted. Sure if you’re just starting out, this is your priority! But the further along you are in your business, the value is in the lifetime customer value or the length of your relationship.
It’s way easier to sell to someone who has bought from you before and it costs you nothing, versus generated new leads and converting them. Of course you want to have some focus here, but be mindful of the other two points.
The best ways to sell to more people are:
#1: get more leads
#2: increase your conversions (on sales calls, webinars, sales page, sales emails, etc)
2. You can increase the average purchase price
My simple solution to this is to raise prices. It’s a quick and easy fix, especially for the big chunk of online entrepreneurs who undervalue their programs and services.
Another suggestion for this at the event was to add upsells. This is where you make an offer on the thank you page after someone purchases from you. This is an area that I know I can work on for my launches.
Although I have used upsells in my funnels, during a launch I’ve never offered an upsell and I am leaving money on the table. I could expect to see 20% of buyers take me up on such an offer.
Another way of increasing the average purchase price is to offer a VIP option, which you’ve probably noticed I use and highly recommend. There is always a segment of your audience that wants to go deeper with you and are willing to invest at a higher price point for this.
Create a sales funnel
3. You can increase the lifetime customer value
When I worked with financial advisors, this was a goldmine of potential revenue. One of the first things I would do is help transition the way they do business. Instead of charging commission per buy or sell trade, we would transition their business to a reoccurring fee.
In the online space, you see this model being used with Membership sites.
Here are some other ways to increase the lifetime customer value:
This one came from James Wedmore. After people buy his BBD program during his launch, he sends them a thank you email along with a 20% coupon that they can use within 48 hours on his entire product suite.
Using an ascension model. Although this is more advanced and isn’t recommend when you are just starting out or at least until you have perfected one offer. An ascension model is basically a ladder of offers that lead into each other. Here’s my own example:
Strategy for creating passive profits
They are one of the best tools for building community and getting paying clients. Hands down.
But beyond that, it’s one of the best ways for your peeps to have an inside scoop and pulse on you, your business and the message you have to share with the world.
SUSAN’S INSIGHTS RE: PR + Passive Profits:
One way to build your credibility is to create your own Facebook group.
4. Host a Facebook Group.
I always teach my students, if you are a Facebook group host you want to make sure that you’re getting people from your Facebook group onto your email list as well, which is an asset you own and you can continue to market to, no matter what.
If you’re building your business off of other people’s Facebook groups, are you bringing those connections back to your community where you are in the driver seat?
Mark Zuckerberg has announced his commitment and vision in growing Meaningful Facebook Groups.
So the way I see it, they are here to stay.
And those who have a purpose or a mission behind their community, who are using their group as a tool to connect and have a greater impact, will stand strong when the current goes out.
SUSAN’S INSIGHTS RE: PR + Passive Profits:
There are some marvelous opportunities to share your knowledge within other people’s already established Facebook Groups if you don’t want to start your own so you can build your business organically and authentically using online marketing vs. traditional publicity. Here’s how.
(With a note of warning. You have no control if that host decides to shut down that group so don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Many hosts are doing that given that the changes in Facebook and perceive market saturation. Find a number of groups that cater to your ideal market).
And my takeaway to increase the lifetime customer value of my client base is to perfect and shrink down my ascension model. I will be retiring some of my own programs and narrowing my own focus to deliver the best value possible, for my clients.
Christina Jandali is a Biz growth strategist who teaches coaches to create solid cash creating strategies for their online business.
Scaling for Passive Profits Mastermind
SUSAN’S INSIGHTS RE: PR + Passive Profits:
Join us for the passive profits masterclass so you can create your offers BEFORE you begin your publicity campaign so you can monetize your appearances. You will have the choice of getting insights from any or all 40+ experts. Go here now to register.
A quick note to say how much I appreciate each and every one of you.
Some of you have been connected since my days teaching at the Learning Annex where my first product was a cassette tape that I duplicated, a cover/case that I hand-glued onto a piece of paper then printed from my computer. The second product was a set of stapled together pages with a card stock cover about how to write a press release.
In some ways I’ve come a long a way and in others not so much.
Walking in Central Park New York
Church Music and Rain in New York
Right now, I don’t have a lot to say. I’m in one of those periods where words aren’t flowing. Not in my writing group, not in my business.
Last week, as we sat together in sink-in couches, the autumn leaves falling, pumpkins everywhere, rain pounding the roof, sipping hot tea, we talked a little about the process and in my frustration I said, “I don’t feel like my writing is worth anything. It’s not adding up. It doesn’t have a purpose – a blog post, a book, an article. I’m not working toward a project.”
Tina said it’s kind of like yoga. You go. You do poses. You don’t progress. Then one day you can do a pose that used to be hard—maybe for a few seconds. There is an opening. Andrea mentioned that it’s like meditation. You don’t think it’s having an effect, then eventually something shifts. Maybe a bit of anxiety lifts. Laurie said, It’s about using the muscle. Keeping in the flow. Continuing to allow the messy. To invite it, actually.
And I get all that. But in the midst of it it still feels like a big waste of time, even though I know it isn’t.
It’s one of those sh_tty lessons.
I’m thankful for so those lessons, not in a spring-up happy kind of way. I’m thankful for so many things, and this group of women is one of them. Of course my sweetie. Who appreciates and loves me daily. After writing group, when I’d written about him, Tina said, “So there really are good men in the world?”
This writing muscle is really about practicing being free.
Free from the need to produce. Free from the desire to acquire. Free from forcing meaning into tasks. Free from needing to create something good. Free from being perfect. Free from embarrassment or shame. Free from not making enough money or being thin enough, or desirable or sexy enough.
To your freedom. Whatever that means to you.
And being thankful for the sh-tty lessons along the way.
Want to give something that doesn’t cost a penny? I do this daily. All you have to do is click to help animals and/or people. Go here.
My best (male) friend and me who I got to hang out with last weekend in San Francisco. Who I don’t get to see enough since he lives in Los Angeles. We’ve been friends for 40 year now. Grateful for the way he makes me feel — excited to live, full of joy and that my life has a place in this world that means something.
I just read a woman’s special report that disparaged one of my colleague’s tag lines saying, “I feel bad for those who’ve built a brand around this message.” (My colleague is a wonderful AND successful person by the way. And her brand is working just fine.). This is a poor publicity strategy.
This gal’s special report blasted me with her loud clothes, wildly colored hair, and audacious language. She made it a point to shock me. Granted, that’s HER brand, and people who resonate with in-your-face brashness will be her perfect clients.
But please don’t think you have to imitate this way of being to get media coverage, fans, followers or clients. And please never disparage anyone’s brand to promote your own. I once had a client who said she chose me over another colleague precisely because I wasn’t as “slick and sound bitey.”
There is a place for everyone, no matter how shy or small you feel. No matter how big and bold you are. No matter if you’re quiet and thoughtful. No matter your race, ethnicity or point of view. We need us all.
Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken. ~Oscar Wilde
And know that often the loud ones get attention more quickly, because, well, they are jumping up and down, blowing a bullhorn and calling attention to themselves, while you made be sitting, listening, pondering and seeking to understand others. As long as you’re sitting tall and centered in your own way of being that’s fine. Sometimes, quieting your voice makes it easier to be heard.
And, if you wish you were other, or want to shift your life in a big way before taking center stage – in the media or online, heed the advice of my dear friend Sherry who shows you how to live the life you want in the now — just as you are.
You might also like:
• Is authenticity overrated? Can you be too real? Find out here.
• Need to get prepped for publicity? This is for you.
I’ve had so many conversations this month that end up being about mind-set. Feng Shui-ing your mind is more than just clearing clutter. It’s about discovering and then organizing what the heck is in there in the first place.
Mind-set is about how our conscious and unconscious minds work together well – or not.
One of the biggest barriers to completing a program, course, webinar, website, or getting a book deal, or doing media training to prepare for a print, radio or TV appearance is….
I was talking to a friend over sushi. She had grilled cod since she’s afraid of raw things and said she had a child’s palate and ordered the same thing every time. I’m kind of the opposite and want to try new things. Though one of my dishes was going to be a surprise from the chef I made a request of the waitress – just don’t make it uni.
I told my friend that it took me three entire days to find new agents to send my query letter to about my memoir. Each one had a different submission guideline so it was excruciating to have to do every single query differently according to their request.
She said, “Well that would probably take another person ten times as long because they’d never even be able to get over their fear of sending out their work.”
I was a bit startled by this. Then, when I sat and thought about it I sensed that she was right.