How to have charisma on camera + make the media + your audience love you
1. Bathe your audience in your love look.
I was media training a friend of mine who’s already very experienced in media appearances and we were just doing little tweaks. And I noticed that when she first started the video she just gave this look like: I love you and I’m connected to you—and then it shifted.
And so I said to her I said: “You know that love look that you give?” I said, Continued that through your whole video.” How do you get that love look? This is an internal practice. So you can imagine that you’re either connecting heart-to-heart with someone and you can think about your dog or anyone that is special to you.
I was media training a CEO of a media conglomerate at one point and he was talking about his favorite daughter and I said continue to think about your daughter when we’re running through these mock interviews and he did that. And his marketing manager who was in the room said: “Oh my God, you are so handsome.” Because he had given that love look the entire time.
What else can you do during your media appearances?
2. Don't push.
The other thing that I mentioned to her is don’t push. So, you know, sometimes we just want to try so hard and we are want to get our ideas out there and so were like over intense and it manifests itself by doing big eyes or louder voice or leaning forward like I’m doing.
So we can just relax into ourselves and have the thought and the confidence that people are coming to us that we are drawing people in to our realm and into engaging with us in a wonderful way. So that would be number 2.
3. Never say, "Again" or....
When you’ve made a point —this is a little more technical— but when you’ve made a point never say, “Again. Or, “I told you so.” Or, “This is what I always say.” Because we want you to be fresh. We want to think that we are hearing this for the first time even if you have said it a hundred times us to the audience.
We don’t want to be told something that you’ve told someone else before. It’s like a secret between two people. Tell me for the first time and there’s a certain energy behind when we do say things for the very first time that sadly can’t be exactly recaptured, but that that’s something that I want my clients to recapture is like that same enthusiasm, that same innocence when you said something for the first time you bring it again to when you’re saying it to the hundredth time.
So I am Susan Harrow, media coach, marketing strategist, sitting back author of Sell Yourself Without Selling Your Soul® published by HarperCollins and CEO of prsecrets.com and I invite you to a free consult with me and I have lots of other free things on my site as well at prsecrets.com. Hope to meet you there. Bye.
Want to learn how to be charismatic on camera? Shine your love look so you draw in the right people, opportunities and experiences to you?
I haven’t seen much to applaud in the current administration or the recent presidential debates. So I thought I’d harken back to the Obama White House PR campaign strategy for some ideas you can apply to your own publicity campaign.
1. Define your image as a thought leader.
While I don’t particularly like the word “image” what I mean by it here is that in creating a consistent character that embodies your deepest principles, people perceive you as “whole” and trustworthy. We align with leaders who are aligned with themselves.
We know instinctively if thought leaders are who they appear to be and if their facial, body and verbal language match.
According to Joel Benenson, the primary pollster for the Obama campaign, Obama’s image was more clearly defined than McCain’s. Benenson said that Obama had an anti-Washington reputation that was characterized by his insistence that he was “going to tell you what you need to hear not what you want to hear.”
Barack Obama’s publicity strategy
People perceived Obama as a truth teller, which is something we hunger for. To solidify trust as a thought leader, authority, expert, influencer, or burgeoning personality, define yourself clearly, tell the truth, then follow that up with actions that demonstrate you’re committed to those truths at any cost.
2. Create a strong, positive and consistent message.
Barack Obama had one simple, elegant philosophical approach that was easy to understand and to assimilate. “Voters are looking for the remedy not the replica”.
His strategy was to position his opponent, John McCain, as the replica and himself the remedy. This became the core of his campaign.
Distill your message into one clear sentence that has deep resonance. Then build the rest of your your publicity campaign on that core message.
3. Communicate casually via video. David Plouffe, a campaign manager for Barack Obama’s 2008 presidential campaign, did amateurish-looking videos discussing strategies to keep supporters and organizers excited, engaged and involved. These were not slick productions but were kept consciously rough-hewn to connect casually.
These videos are similar to the ones friends might send to each other to keep in touch on Facebook, Youtube or Instagram.
By keeping it casual they became more like chat sessions than formal lectures. Plouffe speaks directly to the camera with maps pinned to the wall and amidst piles of papers.
Barack Obama publicity campaign secrets you can use
Casual videos on your website where you face the camera and look directly into the eyes of viewers, make you approachable and human and add that “I feel like I already know you” sensibility.
Seeing someone in their personal environment also creates an atmosphere of trust and a sense of intimacy. Over time, this proper intimacy encourages loyalty and builds trust so your supporters come to believe in you in a profound way.
I was talking to my neighbor next door who works for a famous matchmaking firm. She’s a warm and cozy person who people feel comfortable with right away. She has a knack for putting people at ease — including celebrities, princesses and the rich beyond imagination, who are her clients.
Want to listen to this as an audio with lots of extra juicy details? Here you go.
But they all have the same problem we all have. They are looking for love. Yes, sometimes in the wrong places — or with the wrong people or they are focused on the wrong things – like stating that his dates couldn’t have wrinkly, flabby arms – which was a deal breaker for one wealthy patron who was not having any luck with the ladies.
But what my neighbor noticed was that many of her clients didn’t have some skills necessary to connect with potential mates. How to make significant small talk, when to hold eye contact, what constituted appropriate touch, ways to keep a conversation going to find common interests, how to get to that “click.”
Furthermore they missed social cues, and were woefully unaware how they were perceived. (Like one man, a real snoozer, who kept saying how dynamic and engaging he was who put everyone in the office to sleep!)
Perception is reality in both media appearances and in personal relationships.
Which got me thinking about how much fun it would be to coach people who are looking for love but not having any luck — meaning that “the one” or even “the fun one of the moment” was eluding them. Which is essentially what I do everyday with people (clients and course participants) during media coaching or video training, so their audiences (hundreds, thousands, millions of people) and the media (reporters and producers) love them.
So why not extend this training the land of love?
What prompted me to share this with you?
While talking to my neighbor I got a little spark. I thought, gee, would be so delighted to coach her clients on their facial, body, verbal language (+ tone – so important!) so could let their true selves shine through the nervousness and anxiety, the sweaty palms, the fidgeting, the mean voices in their heads, so they could relax and just be themselves — while being an excellent listener who can “read” the situation and respond, creating a deep connection instantly.
In some ways it’s a thought experiment that’s not unique, but the author, Pam Grout, makes a compelling case backed by science, about how to do it. (And in a very conversational and quick read way).
So, I’m giving it a try. (Although I do this all the time in various forms this was a bit of a new challenge).
If any of you would like an hour or two of coaching on camera (via Skype) to role-play potential dating – or domestic scenarios (you’re in a relationship that you’d like to grow the love, kindness, fun, sexiness). I’m offering a limited amount of sessions – 5 max.
Because the usual minimum fee to hire me for $2000 for 4 hours there is no initial consult as these sessions are 1-2 hours only.
So you decide whether this is something you feel is right for you. (Did you get a zing? A full-body yes? Watch for it. Feel for it. Because we often ignore these inklings that guide us toward the right next step.)
You can hop on over here to purchase 1-2 hours (enter either $500 or $1000 in the appropriate field) and one of my team will get back to you ASAP to schedule a time for us to talk on camera from your home or office (via Skype).
Be sure to put “LOVE” in the comments box so I know what kind of consult you want.
Prefer to listen to the rest this as an audio with lots of extra juicy details? Here you go.
One more thing…. If you’ve been thinking that you want to be more comfortable on video – for your website, tutorials, YouTube, Instagram etc. then let’s chat about how to use your personality and the camera to your advantage, connect to your audience, and of course how to Sell Yourself Without Selling Your Soul™.
Videos not only engage your audience but can be the deal maker or breaker for inviting in clients, customers and sales (and love, right?).
Some things we’ll do together:
3 secrets the top TED talk speakers use to get millions of views – that you can use in all your videos.
How to use your eyes to draw in the right audience (clients, customers, sales, opportunities) for you — and discourage time-wasters.
Methods to apply incantation and intention to tap deeply into who you are to show your true essence so you and your videos stand out—even if you’re in a highly competitive field.
The right way to use your own natural gestures that inspire audiences to like and trust you (no steeples or pyramids or fake, canned movements).
Why you absolutely shouldn’t read a script (and how to get your point across gracefully and effectively).
In the near future I’ll be featuring client, course participant and Ezine subscriber’s success stories on the blog, Instagram + Facebook.
So if anything you’ve read in the Ezine or on the blog or that we did together one-on-one or in a course, that helped you directly and you would like to do a quick video about it, or send in a pic with a description — I’d be delighted to feature you — and of course link back to your website and social media channels. (Instant publicity!). Make sure to include your website URL all your social handles.
Just send me an email with a link to your video, written testimonial and attach your pic. Thank you!!
As a PR professional, knowing how to dress for media appearances is of utmost importance. There are few departments who represent a company more directly then the PR team themselves. Though preparing yourself for an appearance with the media can be a bit stressful in the beginning, creating your wardrobe is essential. When you prep for your next media appearance, be sure to use the tips below as your guide for PR professional dress.
Embody Your Company
First and foremost, your attire when you step out into the eye of the public should always embody your company. Whether your office wear is business casual or completely casual, onlookers should be able to tell who you work for from your dress. Ask yourself if someone else in your workplace would be comfortable in the same outfit you plan on wearing in front of the media; if the answer is yes, you’re probably on the right track with your look. Remember that you are the direct link between your audience and your company. Allow your audience to get a glimpse of all your business has to offer through the professionalism of your look.
Play it Safe
Going in front of the media is not the time to step out of the box with your attire. While it might be tempting to make a bold outfit choice in order to stand out, playing it safe is always your best option.
Keep your look simple, modest, and clean. Whether you opt for a simple button up shirt or sleek black capris, stay to what’s familiar to you. Most name brands offer in-season looks that will keep you feeling professional and prepared.
Online thrift shops like thredUP even have great names like Madewell to help you save on the perfect top as well as anything else you might need.
Avoid clothing with large pockets as they might tempt you to store clunky items on your person. Bring a small briefcase or purse with you to the appearance to store those extra items you need with you and leave them in the greenroom or wherever it’s safe to store them during your appearance. Being free of pocket items such as your phone and wallet will give you clean lines and leave you feeling more comfortable and less weighed down when you address the public.
Be Color Conscious
The colors you wear can tell a lot about you and about your company. If the branding of your organization revolves around a specific color, it doesn’t hurt to incorporate it into your professional look.
Stay away from bright and bold color choices along with excessive patterns. Opt for safe and simple neutral tones that won’t leave your audience feeling distracted by your look.
Allow the colors you wear to compliment you as it will make your words have more of an impact. A neutral tone of red, like burgundy, is both a subtle and powerful example of a color that will help you feel brave and bold in front of a crowd. Be aware of colors that might show off sweat stains, or end up being see-through. Choose a color that you feel confident in and you’re sure to make a great impression on your listeners.
Know Your Location & Audience
While your professional dress should always embody your company, it should also take into account the environment of the media appearance. Always consider the location of your appearance and who your audience is. An outdoor conference will more than likely mean you should opt for sensible and simple footwear.
Check the weather outlook for the day to be prepared for the heat, rain, or a cold spell. The more prepared you are, the more professional you’ll look to your audience. Access the age range of your viewers as well to ensure your outfit remains timeless. The more you let your look speak for itself, the more comfortable you’ll feel as you represent your company.
Last week I spoke at East Bay Women’s Network to a group of wonderful women attended who were curious about how to promote their businesses and themselves. It had been a long time since I’d given a “speech” as I’ve been on a bit of a hiatus from speaking engagements or other public events.
My stomach was roiling that morning as I drove the hour to Alameda and before that I’d had weeks of worry, nightmares, and plenty of time to fret about the actual talk.
Afterward many women came up to thank me and tell me what they loved about my talk.
There was one man in the room. But he had no interest in complimenting me.
He wanted to criticize me so bad he could hardly wait his turn.
“I don’t know if you saw me sleeping in the back,” he started out.
“Nope. Didn’t notice,” I said, wondering why someone would bring that to my attention.
He then battered me with questions leading up to his punch line which was designed to tear me down, so he could tell me everything I’d done wrong. My stomach sank and my face fell. My first thoughts: I’m such a failure. I’m a stinky speaker. Why did I accept this gig? What was I thinking?
Then I breathed, relaxed my tummy, let it go and stayed open.
Eventually, he got to his point which was that I didn’t tell a signature story to let the group know who I was. “Oh gosh, I’ve got about 5 signature stories that I’ve told so many times I’m tired of them. I wanted to try something new.”
“Sure,” he said. “But WE haven’t heard any of them.”
He was right. I teach telling your signature story in every media appearance and when appropriate, your speaking engagements. The “why you do what you do” story.
I was out of practice. I had forgotten.
I thanked him and packed up my things. Point taken.
What to do you do when you receive uninvited criticism in person or on the Internet?
I recommend asking yourself these 3 questions (and then doing this last thing – which is the hardest).
1. Consider the source.
Is this person a nutball? If so, dismiss their rant without another thought. Don’t let it sink into your skin for a second.
When a friend had a very revealing piece published in the New York Times the editor warned her to expect a backlash from Internet trolls. She and I discussed not even reading the hurtful replies so she could revel in the glory of achieving her dream. We batted around the idea that later when she had some distance and perspective, she might scan them for ideas to write another article based on the responses she elicited, thus using them for the positive. Distance creates perspective and allows you to see things more “objectively,” and less personally.
2. Is there something I can learn here?
Is there a kernel of truth in anything this person says? Is what they say worth examining so I can improve myself, my course, my talk etc.? If so, great. If not, move on.
3. Did what they said/wrote trigger an unresolved wound?
If you find yourself becoming hurt, angry, embarrassed, ashamed, or experiencing a strong feeling arising, take a few breaths to steady yourself and come back to center in the moment. Later, examine what touched the nerve. The event can show you where there is still work to be done to let go of past patterns that we all have or harbor. Consider tapping to resolve challenging issues.
The hardest part? Staying open. To hear the truth, or someone’s version of it, and not react. Or, if you react, don’t judge your response just let it go so you can listen and assess the situation.
The second hardest part is to ignore the hurtful words and not let them lodge in our hearts and close us down.
There is a time and place to just ignore the offending party. Not give them or their words any energy at all. If you’re up for an “advanced” practice, send them a blazing bolt of love from your heart to theirs. Shoot it straight in. We are all hurt somewhere and if you can soften even a little consider that an accomplishment.
BONUS: Use hurtful words to open an interesting discussion. I witnessed an Instagram influencer do this when she raised over 50k to help a single mom of two in her congregation get a car, apartment and get started on a new life in an unfamiliar city.
It was quite amazing to see all the support her IG community gave and to watch the pot of gold grow. Then came the naysayers who accused her of doing it for the money. None of which she kept, by the way. So she shared the hurt and gave her followers the opportunity to discuss the negative comment and to give her even more support for her good deed, which they did.
Some people make it their mission to make you feel small. Ignore them. Others are devoted to finding infinite ways share in order to inspire you to feel good. Embrace them.
Lots of people call me who want to get on The Today Show, Good Morning America, Fox and Friends, The View, MSNBC and more. Most don’t know that if they create the entire segment they have a better chance of becoming a guest on a national TV show.
If they can envision the show, map out the theme, plan the guests, create the questions, suggest the props, plan the B-roll (background footage) and then bring their knowledge and expertise to the table, speaking in 10-20 second sound bites, then they’ll have the chance of a winner show.
I know it sounds obvious, but many people aren’t familiar with the show format or the hosts’ style because they haven’t bothered to watch the shows or study the host’s style so their pitches are off-base. These are high-level shows and the producers want you to be intimate with the content, pacing, length of each segment, and host’s manner.
Being unaware of these things shows disrespect and could give you and your business a bad name.
Also, if you don’t perform well on the show you’ve pretty much squelched your chances of being on other top TV talk shows as the producers know each other and talk about the flops. To be one of the successes follow these tips.
1. Start with a Headline that Spells Out the Story.
Supernanny Teams With An Acclaimed Autism Expert To Help A Child Who Is An Outsider In His Own Home On Supernanny on ABC.
While it’s a show from the past, it’s an excellent example of how to create a TV pitch letter.
This is the headline from an well-done press release. It tells you what the problem is and who is going to solve it—but not how. Enticing. “Outsider in his own home” is immediately appealing as you can already feel the emotion that the show promises.
2. State the Graphic Details of the Problem and Your Credentials to Solve it.
Supernanny Jo Frost teams with world-renowned autism expert Dr. Lynn Koegel to tackle the parenting issues faced by a family whose three-year-old son is an outsider in his own home. This episode of Supernanny aired on the ABC Television Network.
Deirdre and Trae Facente don’t know how to integrate their autistic son Tristin into their daily life with their twins, Kayla and Marlana (4). Tristin is completely non-verbal, caught up in his own world of spinning, jumping, swinging and, often, taking off his clothes. The only time he spends with his family is sitting at the dinner table. The twins, who demand much of their stay-at-home mom’s attention, can’t figure out how to play with their little brother.
The parents are at a loss as to how to help Tristin come out of his zone and join the family.
“World-renowned autism expert” lets you know that the guest has weight. You get a clear idea of what family life looks like in the Facente household and can immediately see how divided the family is. It’s a dramatic situation that has pathos and promises to be good TV.
The specific details of “Tristin is completely non-verbal, caught up in his own world of spinning, jumping, swinging and, often, taking off his clothes,” gives you an immediate sense of what the show will look like. And it even has humor. I mean, what mom wouldn’t be mortified if a neighbor dropped in and one of her kids was swinging and spinning about in the nude?
3. Tell How You’re Going to Provide a Solution.
Enter Dr. Koegel and Supernanny. Together they refine the classic Supernanny methods and teach all the Facentes Dr. Koegel’s inclusion and communication techniques to help engage Tristin. For example, when they introduce the new daily schedule to everyone, Dr. Koegel uses a picture board with Tristin to help him understand in a concrete way.
Notice that you’re given just a little detail about “communication techniques,” but not what they are or how they’ll be used. One example is given (picture board) and it is again very visual, conforming with what works on TV.
While this show has already taped and the end of the story is known, in your pitch you’ll imagine what will take place on the show as if it has already taped. You’ll define your role and the actions that you and others will take and map it out visually for the producers.
4. Show Dramatic Visible Results.
In just a week, silent Tristin goes from zero words to speaking hundreds of times using over 20 new words. He is bursting with requests to play a favorite game, be tickled or eat a treat. Step-by-step, Jo and Dr. Koegel help the parents keep Tristin from his disruptive behaviors by including him in family chores and activities.
These efforts culminate in the boy helping his dad set the table, a seemingly mundane task that is so miraculous for Tristin, it brings tears to Trae’s eyes.
In a sense this show is a “make-over” program. It touches on mundane chores, the fabric of a family and creates poignancy. Success is unmistakable and quantified succinctly by explaining that Tristin is transformed from a mute to a chatterer (zero words to speaking hundreds of time using over 20 new words).
how to pitch the media
5. Give Your Credentials.
Lynn Kern Koegel, Ph.D is one of the world’s foremost experts on the treatment of autism. She and her husband, Robert L. Koegel, Ph.D., founded the renowned Koegel Autism Center at the Graduate School of Education at the University of California, Santa Barbara.
She co-wrote the bestselling book on autism, Overcoming Autism: Finding the Answers, Strategies, and Hope that can Transform a Child’s Life, which was released in paperback, and also co-authored, with Robert Koegel, the more recent book, “Pivotal Response Treatments for Autism.”
While you don’t have to have written a book, it helps. Books published by established and respected publishing houses carry clout. This husband and wife team even have their own center at a respected university. What’s critical here is your experience and your results. Especially for TV you must be able to show that you’ve achieved results and have influence in your field.
Client Success Story: Mary Sheehan for Giant Eagle Pharmacy
A few years ago (I can hardly believe how much time has passed!) I worked with an extremely talented pharmacist and spokesperson named Mary Sheehan. Mary wanted to build an online presence and train pharmacists on how to help customers more effectively.
She consistently had repeat clients who found her advice and the way she handled their prescriptions helped them get better faster. (Great going Mary!)
Mary and I worked on developing her essential talking points/ sound bites that she could easily incorporate into her work in order to grow her business.
Together we created a webinar, a course, and downloadable documents (booklets) to help other pharmacists.
By using these booklets and carefully paying attention to not only what she said to her patients and colleagues, but how she said it to her patients and colleagues, Mary was able to create a name for herself. It wasn’t long until the entire staff was using her material, and positive calls were coming in from corporate.
Mary’s shining star took off even more when one day, she received an opportunity to be a spokesperson for her company on a national commercial!
See below for details from Mary on how the shoot went, what she learned, and the result.
“From your media training, I was prepared for the long hours, the criticism and the tedium of the shoot. For instance, my hair wouldn’t stay in place because I moved my head too much, my skirt was riding up and I received feedback that I was too robotic. Normally those comments would cause me to become anxious, but I just reminded myself that it wasn’t personal and to maintain a calm, ‘willingness to please’ demeanor.
My marketing department was on scene, so I was sure to speak to them in a way that let them know they had made the right decision in choosing me. I thought about talking from my heart to one person I care about and who needed to hear what I had to say. That was something I really took away from our training.
Media Coaching for CEOs, Executives, Entrepreneurs, Authors, Pitch Deck Presentations
I did calming mental exercises between takes as well as grounding exercises and breathing. For example, when I was scared, I would close my eyes and feel my feet on the ground. That helped me feel gratitude and reminded me that I was prepared for this.
You’d helped through other TV appearances so I remembered that if I could survive that, I could easily nail these lines and relax and be my confident self. Even though I was facing health battles I had a system in place that I fell back on—knowing what to say and how to say it. All totally in line with who I am and who I wanted to be.
The most nerve-wracking part of the day was that they had another actress on set just in case I left the company or totally bombed. It was very intimidating. She did a take. I did a take. I watched her takes and was complimentary to my marketing team, mentioning how good she was and listening when they told me how they’d like me to do what she did.
I truly was prepared for the entire experience, and I cannot thank you enough.
The effect of the commercial on business?
Last year our pharmacy gave 346 shots
This year our pharmacy has already given 446
Technically the “flu season” is not over and this already represents a 23 percent increase.
In our entire district last year the pharmacies gave 9,470 and this year we have already done 12,594 shots for a 25% increase and the season is not over yet.
Oh, and I got a promotion.”
SIDE NOTE: Mary and I discussed taking out the fact that she got a promotion. I thought it was important to leave it in because when you truly embody your message it affects every area of your life – family, friends, business, social situations — not just media appearances. That’s the beauty of one of my favorite sayings from Gandhi, “My life is my message.”
Kudos to Mary who is doing just that.
WHAT ABOUT YOU? Do you have a success story from any of our trainings together? I’d love to shine the spotlight on YOU! Just jet me an email at mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org
To find out more about the sound bite course Mary took go here.
To learn more about one-on-one media coaching go here.
To set up a FREE consult to explore working together go here.
Although she’s known as an engaging speaker, trainer, author, and executive coach, Kimberly (Kim) Faith, was still terrified to be on TV.
TV appearance tips
But she did it anyway.
And to see her you wouldn’t know she was fearful or nervous. Watch her here on a major market live TV show in Seattle. Prepare to be encouraged!
One of the things that inspired Kim to go beyond her comfort zone was to tie her mission, and new book for women Your Lion Inside: Tapping Into the Power Within, with the Year of the Woman movement that was making a mark in this year’s elections.
women empowerment tips
Kim’s credentials: Kim has had the privilege to train or coach over twenty six thousand leaders from Fortune 500 companies including Amazon, American Airlines, BMW, Boeing, CVS, GE, HCA, Kimberly Clark, Lockheed Martin, Nielsen, and Target, as well as worked on licensing deals with Warner Brothers, Disney and MGM. She recently accepted an exclusive invitation to be part of Microsoft’s external faculty to train 16,000 leaders over the next two years.
If you’re thinking (like I was) “Holy Cow, that’s some resume!” How could doing a 5 minute TV interview be hard for Kim who speaks all the time to thousands of people?
Because, even with all these impressive accolades, TV was still a new and daunting experience.
I was walking down our tree lined street yesterday when a boy popped his head out of a car window parked in his driveway.
“Hi!” he yelled.
“Hi!” I yelled back. “What cha doin?”
“Washing my car,” he said.
“Oh, don’t mind him,” his father chimed in. “He is only three and doesn’t have a filter yet.”
“I hope he never gets a filter,” I shouted back.
Kids who don’t have filters make connections. I’m always on the lookout for kids calling out to me across the street or anywhere – asking me to push them on a tire swing, examine a bug, put up a Halloween decoration – as it happens often – up to the age of about six. Then the filter veils over their natural, unencumbered exuberance, and inhibits their instinct to connect.
What I loved about the movie, A Star is Born with Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper was their lack of filters.
They sang apart and together unselfconsciously with abandon, grabbing the mic, swaying with the music and deeply connecting with their audience through their song stories, their voices, their longing.
Cooper, who directed the film, let the camera linger on their eyes and lips and faces. So rare now in our speeded up world of fast cuts, flashy scenes, over the top emotions, tell it quick before we lose’ em, mentality.
What is so often lost is these pure moments of “sexy listening.” A term my sweetie coined when describing how I “lured” him into our relationship by hanging on his every word in rapt attention. A Star is Born is made up of an entire movie of “sexy listening.”
What deeply saddened me is what happened in the transformation of Ally from a singer in a Drag Queen bar into a star…. In the process the filter of fame ruined the essence of what made her touch us in the first place.
Which brings me to some thoughts about fame…
Please don’t tell me you want to be famous.
Instead tell me what you are doing to make things better millions of people — or one person — on this planet.
Or how you’re going to bring joy in some small or big way to someone who needs it.
Don’t let anyone commercialize your talent. Don’t let them spiff, glam, or beef it up.
Don’t take something beautiful and pure and add sequins or shine to it.
Let it be.
Stay true to your self.
Keep the essence, lose the glitz.
Tell true stories. Connect. Let go of adornments.
Touch people with how you’re scared, weak and paralyzed.
But also show them that there is hope and how you’ve come through your pain or poverty and arrived at who you are today, whole, but cracked, so others can get in and feel who you are at the core, no matter how much you’ve glazed your pot.
Stay in touch with the thing that made you come alive in the first place. Music, art, words, sports, science, coding, people, whatever your jam is, feed it everyday. Listen to where it leads you next little by little.
It is your compass and will not send you astray even if it looks like the direction you’re going is taking you nowhere fast.
Instead breathe in the molecules of today one by one. Each molecule was once inhaled and exhaled by someone you love from history, or yesterday or today. Or someone you hate. Breathe them in too for this will make you stronger even as you resist it. And you will soften in the places where the world has made you hard.
Remember your roots. Where you came from is important. It feeds who you are today.
Practice kindness. I’m going to say this again as we have strayed so far away from being kind. Find ways to do or say something kind every day. Even in the midst of your anger and frustration. Even when you can’t find an example to follow. Although there are many. Find them.
Gaze inside and follow your own heart as it’s made of kindness, first and foremost.
If you’ve forgotten just look into the face of your own child. Their kindness came from you. Look into the face of any child. It is all there. And it came from us. All of us. No filters.
Back to Lady Gaga and being unfiltered for a moment. I watched her on Stephen Colbert when he asked her what she would be doing if she wasn’t singing and acting. She said she’d still be singing in bars – because that’s what she loves to do. Sing. I believe her. She wasn’t just acting with Bradley Cooper in a Star is Born, she was there, 100% of her, sexy listening, sexy being, undistracted, whole.
Would you still be doing what you’re doing if it didn’t have the promise of fame or acclaim?
The following are 3 radio pitch letter templates courtesy Steve Harrison and Alex Carroll. (Thank you guys!)
Steve shared these brilliant radio pitch letter email templates and Alex created the amazing examples. You can just copy these and fill-in-the blanks with your topic or subject matter.
Also, if it isn’t obvious, all of these fabulous formulas double as as story headlines for pitching TV, magazines, newspapers and online to feature you or whatever you’re promoting.
And, if you’re planning on attending the National Publicity Summit (the event where you get to meet the media in person and pitch all the big TV and radio show producers face-to-face), these will be a big help to get prepared.
(Please forward this email to anyone you think it would help).
1. Radio Pitch Letter Template #1: Is/Are __________ getting too ___________?
Here’s how you might apply it:
Show Pitch: “Are China & India getting too many of our jobs?”
Show Pitch: “Are parents ruining their kids by letting them get away with too much?”
Alex notes: “This formula can be used any time you identify something that’s gotten out of control … or could be getting out of control. It opens up a debate because regardless of what position you take, others will oppose you … which is exactly what you want. Remember, radio shows love anything controversial.”
2. Radio Pitch Letter Template #2: The ___ toughest questions your _________will ever ask you … and how to answer them without getting
Here’s how you might apply it:
Show Pitch: “The 5 toughest questions your kids will ever ask you … and how to answer them without getting into trouble.”
Show Pitch: “The 3 toughest questions your attorney will ever ask you … and how to answer them without getting into trouble.”
Alex notes: “This is one of the best and most universally applicable pitch formulas around. You could fill in that blank with virtually anyone. Banker, accountant, spouse, wedding planner, in-laws, doctor etc., etc.
3. Radio Pitch Letter Template #3: These ____ common ____________ actually do more harm than good!
Here’s how you might apply it:
Show Pitch: “These 3 common apologies actually do more harm than good!”
Show Pitch: “These 5 common forms of exercise actually do more harm than good!”
Alex Notes: “Why is this formula so compelling? Because it goes against the conventional wisdom. It says that something that everyone thinks is a good thing … is actually not a good thing at all. This really catches the media’s attention. They absolutely love these kinds of pitches. They are guaranteed to grab a producer’s attention virtually every time …
BTW when you attend the summit you’ll have a chance to get a 1 sheet media makeover with Alex in person (free). Be sure not to miss it as this is his genius. I was stunned with what he did with mine…