5 Ways To Gracefully Deal With Internet Trolls

SUMMARY: Learn to handle internet trolls with advice from Asian women entrepreneurs: Use humor to deflect trolls. Remove insults and deepen discussions. Engage with diverse voices for education. Respond respectfully to trolls. Ignore negativity to protect your online space. Having protocols in place is crucial, including considering the source, learning from criticism, and addressing unresolved wounds.

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5 Ways To Gracefully Deal With Internet Trolls

A big fame fear I hear all the time from my women clients is how to deal with criticism and trolls online. I’ve done a quick summary of a great piece from the New York Times on how 5 Asian women entrepreneurs handle hate.

[See my take on how I advise my clients at the end]

Do you have haters?

Here are 5 tips to zip their lips.

1. Troll Back with Humor.

Jing Gao, whose popular, tasty Fly By Jing, 1 of her Sichuan sauces [now a sauce I can’t live without] uses humor as her superpower to deflect the trolls.

2. Remove Insults. Keep Commentary That Ignites Conversation.

Kim and Vanessa Pham, two first-generation Vietnamese sisters take a different tact to deepen the discussion around racism, sexism and criticism. [Omsom makes pre-made South East+East Asian sauces.]

3. Take Culture-Splainers to Task and Let Followers Have at Them.

Brooklyn based Auria’s Malaysian Kitchen, makes Malaysian pantry staples like sambal. Her angle is education and to bring in the diverse voices and opinions of her tribe—which can be a powerful antidote to the disgruntled, loud-mouthed hating few.

4. Respond Respectfully With a Rebuttal.

Himalayan Dumplings by Kyikyi. She provides an example of how to behave respectfully. But it doesn’t let the trolls off the hook for their hate.

5. Ignore. Don’t Engage. Don’t respond. Ban Negativity and Toxicity to Protect Your Feed, Followers and Employees.

Sahra Nguyen of Nguyen Coffee Supply 1st specialty Vietnamese coffee importer & roaster in the U.S. opts for not letting in any negativity to quiet the yammer of trolls.

When you don’t give any energy to the vicious voices they often dissipate.

MY TAKE: What’s important is to have the protocols and practices in place ahead of time so you know how you’re going to handle the haters, detractors and “nattering nabobs of negativity.”

I give my clients a quick three rule check-in to grow their capacity to withstand the trolling that is now a part of our everyday lives—for all of us who voice our opinions, stand for something and believe in speaking out for who and what’s important.

1. Consider the source.

Is this person a nutball? If so, dismiss their rant without another thought. Don’t let it sink into your skin for a second.

2. Is there something I can learn here?

Is there a kernel of truth in anything this person says?

Is what they say worth examining so I can improve myself, my course, product, talk etc.? If so, great. If not, move on.

3. Did what they say/wrote trigger an unresolved wound?

If you find yourself becoming hurt, angry, embarrassed, ashamed, or experiencing a strong feeling arising, take a few breaths to steady and ground yourself and come back to center in the moment.

Later, examine what touched the nerve. The event can show you where there is still work to be done to let go of past patterns that we all have or harbor.

Women – want to own your worth and stand up for yourself and what you believe? Here is a fabulously supportive guide for you. (It’s free!)

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