How Not to be Overly Critical of Your Media Appearance – Media Training Tips
How Not to be Overly Critical of Your Media Appearance
Hi everyone, Susan Harrow, media coach, marketing strategist, author of Sell Yourself Without Selling Your Soul® and CEO of prsecrets.com. Today, I want to talk about how to not criticize yourself after you’ve done media appearance. Or even before, for that matter. How not to be mean to yourself and how to critique yourself in such a way that’s helpful and that will help you improve in every media appearance.
Most of the time people are highly critical of themselves. I remember one of my clients saying, when she saw herself for the first time on video after I media trained her. “Who is that person? She is such a liar. Oh my God, I would never believe her! She is full of crap! Look at her hair, look at her double chin, she is disgusting. Who is that person?” And this was all about her.
It’s not always easy to be kind to ourselves. It’s easier sometimes to be kind to other people. And I find that most people are way too critical of themselves. So for a media appearance what we want to look at is:
Number 1: The things that we can change.
The things that we can work on. Not like, “Oh my nose is too big”. But actually some makeup tips can help that. We want to talk about the things that we have control over. We have control over our emotions, we have control over our words. We have control over our facial expressions, our body. So, those are the things that are within, our relaxation, breathing.
In a media appearance what we want to look at is: Are we relaxed? Because that first impression is what people see: is that person a relaxed, trustworthy person, who knows what they’re talking about? Who is somebody that I can really relate to? That’s where your vulnerability is so important. Even if you’re an expert you can still be vulnerable and still be accessible. Let’s put it that way. I think accessibility might be a better word because some topics we’re not talking about vulnerability we’re talking about accessibility. And being relatable and just being the kind of person that we want, not necessarily that you even have to hang out with, but a kind of person that we go “Oh, I will listen to that person. So relaxation is really key.
Number 2: Facial Language
Next, we look at facial language. Is my face relaxed and responding. Are you responding in an appropriate way to the questions? Meaning, when you’re talking about something sad, you’re not smiling. When you’re talking about something happy, you are. Are your facial expressions appropriate? Then we want to be able to talk about so facial expressions and our body language is, are we relaxed, sitting back in the chair or are you slumped over. Could you be straighter and relaxed at the same time? So we want to look at that.
Number 3: Did you get your message out?
Lastly we want to talk about what you’re actually saying. Are you saying things that is really what you intended your audience to hear. And is this appropriate for the audience that you’re speaking to? Did you get to say what you came to say and gibe what you came to give, which is super important! No matter what the interviewer asked, no matter what how they treated you: Did you get your message out to your people? Did you say what you want to say in the time that you had?
Ask Yourself these two questions after a media appearance
So we’re looking at the facial expressions, body language and we are also looking at your verbal language. We look at all of that and we just ask ourselves two questions. What did I really like? What did I do well? And what would I like to change for next time? All of those things you can work on. So let’s imagine you’re a little grimacy or something and you go, “Okay I want to relax myself around my mouth the next time. And I really want to stay tighter on message. And I can sit straighter up in my chair.”
So all the things that you can change and all the things you want to keep the same. We really want to focus on both at those things. What did I do well, and really let that sink in, because according to research: It take 10 positive messages to knock out 1 negative message. So we want to really pay attention to what we’re putting into our head because that’s what we’re giving back to our audience. Your audience really follows your lead.
If you feel good about yourself even if you’re a little chunkier. Like I’m a little chunkier than I feel good about right now in myself and so I don’t feel quite as confident as I usually do. And I have to really focus on letting that go and really, really letting just my spirit, my good intentions. And what I want to give to you because the focus is on you.
Focus on what you want to give to your audience
What I want to give to you the audience and not about me, and that’s really key. It’s like what do I have to give? Not do I look okay. Even though it’s natural for all of us to think about that. So that’s what I’m always thinking in my head first, I’m focused on what I want to give. That takes the pressure off of you. So this is the way to have constant improvement and little by little each media appearance. You do this and you ask yourself those questions and then every time you will improve. And you’ll get more and more comfortable on camera.
I can’t wait to hear about your experience, please let me know. I will talk to you soon and come visit me at prsecrets.com.
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