Banish Imposter Syndrome, Embody Self-Worth &#038; Shine in the Media Spotlight

The first thing to do is to breathe because it does happen. We get caught off guard all the time, no matter how prepared we are. Like Mandy said, I’m a martial artist. I remember coming out of the dojo one night and some guy came up. Some young guy who was in his twenties. I hadn’t even changed out of my gi and he came up to my car and started asking me out. I’m thinking, what is he thinking? I’m a sugar mama. He was like 25 or something and I realized I was being so nice to him like, oh, no, and then I’m like: “What am I doing?” I’m like, hard “NO!, Move back from my car.” But it took me a minute. Even with all of this training, it is a constant iterative training process.

Imposter Syndrome, Unworthiness, Self-Sabotage Plagues Most Women

I wanted to share one story about a woman who was in my mastermind class, The Zen of Fame™. At that time, we didn’t have Zoom and so I could just see phone numbers, and she never said a peep. Towards the end of those six months, she came on, and she said, “I’ve been here for six months, I’ve never said a word. I didn’t think I was good enough for all of the people who were here.” This was her perception, because people were at all levels. Some people had just started their business.

She said, “You have these big authors, you have these famous finance and real estate people and,” and she goes, “And I didn’t think I was good enough for this”, she said. “But every single time, you mentioned something, I knew I could learn from it, and was exactly what I needed to hear.” And then she said, “So I applied everything that you said, even though I felt unworthy. I am now getting my dream job.”

She said the interview for her dream job had three different aspects. It was in person, audio and video. So very intimidating. She got her dream job and she got her very first consulting gig.

She said I want to say to all of you, it is possible to move through unworthiness and whatever thoughts you have about yourself in the doing of it and the constant practice and iteration.

What I mean by that like with Malcolm Gladwell saying that, “It’s not 10,000 times doing it the same, it’s 10,000 times doing it a little differently each time.” That’s how we start to shift.

Any thoughts that you have? Or questions? Or any, ahas? Like anything that Mandy or I say that like “bing!” put them over in the chat and just say hello, and share with us where you’re from. I want this to be really super interactive so any questions you have, or scenarios or scenes that you want us to review or something that’s been difficult or challenging for you, we are totally open to playing with it.

Before any media interview you want to have your soundbites or messaging practiced + in your mental + muscle memory.

Mandy: Yes. I will say we were talking offline, before everyone else had a chance to join. I come from medical sales. I’ve closed hundreds of millions of dollars in sales for corporations before but now that I’m, in my own, basically selling my own services, I am, my ask is not as confident. My ask is not as strong as it would be if I were representing someone else. Karen, I always mess up her last name, Aser. She’s from South Carolina, passionate about financial literacy. She’s a recent author of a book that is a bestseller on Amazon.

Susan: That’s wonderful. Congratulations.

Karen: Thank you. I have to tell you that Mandy is been one of my greatest champions, I just love her. When I was telling her about trying to start getting some media set up for our book launch, we just did the Amazon number one best selling campaign. The name of the book is called Mind of Gold: Girlfriends Guide to Financial Freedom. We’re just about to put out the print launch, we actually just turned it into a course. I was telling her that I wanted to start getting on podcasts and my partner and I have already been practicing our Today Show interview.

Susan: Fantastic.

Karen: We just practiced it this morning. So anyway, I just want to tell her say that, she said that you absolutely have to listen to this masterclass when Susan’s on this. It is the perfect person for you to connect with. I just want to thank you for making yourself available to our group and I just look forward to it it all you have to share.

How to Prepare for a TV Show Like the Today Show.

Susan: That sounds great. I can’t wait to see you on the Today Show. That is super fast paced. I mean, maybe we should chat about media for a second. How do you prepare for a TV show like that? So the first thing is, really what people are looking for in today’s world and what I do with the PR company that I work with, I partner with PR companies, they do the booking and I do the media training. What happens is when they do a booking is we back-end and we figured out what you want to say first, what are your key messages. What is going to grow your business and move your business forward? Right? So that’s the foundation because we really want to integrate that into the conversation.

The second part of that is how can we construct that so it happens super easily for you. We back-end, what are the questions that you’re going to be asked, that will lead you into that information? We do the work for the producer, because then they go, and most podcasts are asking you to do this anyway. But a lot of times, in the courses that I’ve taught The Zen of Fame,™ people do it back ass-wards. They read the questions, and then I ask them the questions they go, “I don’t know the answer.” I said, “But you wrote the questions!”

So what we want to do is get our answers first, and then figure out what the questions are that are going to lead us there. Does it always go that way? No. But they don’t always ask the exact same questions, particularly on national shows. But if it’s good enough, and it’s really carefully crafted, then you’re shaping your own perception to and you’re putting things in the order that you want to build. Then we also create the B-roll, background footage, any kind of footage or props, that’s going to fast track the conversation because on something like the Today Show or top shows, you have two or three minutes, usually two minutes of four or three minutes of six. And that’s back and forth. So it’s not a lot of time to prepare. You have to have your soundbites, your messages down, and be able to relax at the same time. That is not an easy thing to do.

The key to getting media is that your topic needs to connect with both the audience + what’s going on in the culture today.

Then, we want to make sure that that is in your mental and muscle memory. That’s where the practice and the role-play comes in because much as you think you can do it in your head, research shows, now and I’ve always known this because I’ve media trained thousands of people now, that you have to do it in situ, in the situation that you’re at. A podcast is slower, radio interview is slower, TV is super, super fast paced, and you need to be able to boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, back and forth, back and forth. You want to be able to practice that. The research shows. I’m trying to remember her name. I wrote it down here for you because I thought it was so interesting. I wanted to bring this up, because it I think it completely pertains to us. Julie Woodzicka, she, created this scenario, it was on gender harassment during a media interview. She asked all the women, how would they react? And they said, You know, I would tell him, he can’t speak those questions. That’s inappropriate, and I’m not going to stand for this. Then they went through and actually did the interviews. Nobody did it. Nobody did it.

I’ll tell you why. The emotional component, you don’t know how it’s gonna feel. So it’s in the feeling of it. When, I work with people or media train them, I take them through their worst-case scenarios, but also the emotion, like when people were on Bill O’Reilly or 60 Minutes, I’m playing those hosts. So you get the feel of what that feels like, where if somebody is a little too intimate, or a little too aggressive, or rambling, or whatever that is. And we’re going to talk about a little bit about how to handle each type of host.

I’m going to give you one tip for each one so you’ll at least be able to practice that. So something super practical. It’s in the practicing of it, you want to practice all of your worst-case scenarios, and your trigger points, like your personality trigger points, what gets under your skin, what are the questions, you don’t want to be asked, what throws you off and get that into your mental and muscle memory.

So then George Lowenstein then went through and said, Well, what’s the solution to this for women, not saying speaking up in an interview, and it’s like, practice. I’m like, duh, yes. We have to do it. There’s the research for men’s basketball that as the team that practices the visualization, and getting in the feel, Olympians get the feel in their body to, they score just as highly, but they’ve been practicing. They leave out the part that they’re practicing six hours a day, they’re not just doing the mental part. You have to have the physical, body component of it too, body, voice, face. All of that is included. Does that make sense?

Mandy: Absolutely. It’s the getting into the flow. Right? Have you read The Art of The Impossible, Susan? I really love that it’s actionable about how to get into flow The Art of The Impossible.

Susan: I love that title.

Mandy: Yeah. it goes a lot into that science of exactly what you’re talking about getting it into your body.

Susan: So if there’s anything specific you want me to talk about or maybe Yeah.

Mandy: So Alex, why don’t why don’t you, Alex talked a little bit about, would love to learn more about the media side of the house, I’ve been afraid to sort of step into the area, because I’m always thinking no one really wants to see me on TV.

Susan: What do you mean that no one wants to see you on TV?

Alex: So I’ve done, I’ve done a lot of podcasts that are all very real estate specific. So obviously, the audience is going to be both limited in number and scope, because it’s people that are looking for that information looking for information about investing in real estate.

But my particular way of investing in real estate, what our movement is, is trying to get more women involved in real estate investing. The type of investing we do is literally something that a woman at home with small children could do, if you’re retired, like it’s really a very kind of low bar to entry as far as the activity and the things required.

So I really want to start spreading that word outside the real estate space. But then when you talk to people are, Oh, what are you doing in real estate? I do a private lending. Immediately, you just get crickets, and they like glare. Oh, I don’t know anything about this. I want to change that conversation.

When I go to try to approach someone outside the real estate space they think that’s just some weird voodoo real estate thing. We don’t want to deal with that. I’m like, No, this is really quite easy, quite simple. It’s something that anybody can do. And it’s a great way to earn some extra income which women need because of the income gap over the length of our life. We live longer.

How to Connect to Your Audience for Post Media Success

Susan: I think its really topical, Alex, and I’ll tell you why. Here’s the key to getting media is your topic needs to connect with both the audience and the host. So what does that mean? It means what’s going on in the culture today, that you can connect with. Right now, there are a lot of women who are in financially unstable areas. You said there was a low bar to entry. So if you can start talking about how women can get into this, and the result. So what you want to talk about on media is not the process, but the result. So people’s eyes won’t glaze over, if you just go to a direct result. So you talk about, a woman, so it might sound something like this, a woman with $5. I don’t know what the lowest thing for investment is, is $1,000. A single mom with with $1,000, who had has no real estate experience, invested in this particular property after I spoke to her about the three things that she needed to do. And in five years that $1,000 became $10,000 and she could put her child in a private school or put food on the table, or whatever that very concrete thing is. So speak in terms of results.

So when you’re talking to any woman who’s interested in that, you can speak about very specific and specific, measurable meaning numbers, transformations. A transformation is also the mindset. So I gave you the example of my, the girl who was in The Zen of Fame™, whose mindset shift changed, but also she got measurable results. So that was an example with both. If you wanted to say that, like in one sentence, it’s like: a woman who was fearful and unconfident and it didn’t even think she could do it and never spoke up, discovered that she had a voice and got her dream job, and a consulting gig for hundreds of thousands of dollars. That’s how it would sound in a line. But I wanted to shorten it. So that’s why we’re looking at expandable capacity. Does that make sense to you?

Focus on your inner energy + practice extending it to connect to others + have them connect back to you. Think of it as an energetic circle or a direct beam from your heart to theirs.

Alex: Oh, yeah, absolutely.

Susan: So your topic is really hot right now, for the media. So I just want to say that it is super hot. It’s just about packaging it, getting some testimonials and stories. The media loves stories, anything that story oriented, they love that. So start collecting your stories, the successes that you’ve had, and the case studies that then you can share with like an overall umbrella. I would back that up with statistics, like how many women are not supporting themselves and how little it takes to get into some being able to support themselves with this very simple real estate technique.

And I know, Mandy, you’ve gone through this, I’ve refined it since. The three hot hooks to get the media to call you. So if you ping me Alex, I am happy to send you the PDF. Mandy I had to revise that because when we did it, first it was all the big experiment first when I did it first with Mandy and Mandy’s group. People couldn’t do it. And I’m like, Oh, well, that’s my problem because I need to simplify it down even more. So I created a PDF document with the 3 Hot Hooks. It’s fill in the blank. Everybody can do it.

Mandy: Love it. That was really powerful. Gave me a ton of great ideas.

Susan: But you really helped me see like, Okay, I need to take this down like three more levels because Mandy and I were in that group. Now everybody can do it in two minutes. Yeah. So so that was that was great experiment.

Mandy: How do we get our hands on this? It sounds like you need to ping Susan, it with her contact information that will make sure that we get to everybody. But PRsecrets.com.

Susan: And I’m happy to give it to you. Usually I give it out in my in my live workshops but I’m happy to share with this group, I’ll send you the link.

Mandy: Thank you for that. So one thing that I have learned kind of across this group is there are so many seeking powerhouses, Susan, and operating in multifamily real estate, thank you again for attending the talk that I gave on how to passively invest in real estate.

Susan: Oh, it’s fantastic. I want I can’t wait till I get my, unfortunately just bought a generator and an H-VAC system because that money could have gone to Mandy.

Mandy: Well, I thank you I’ve what an honour for that. I will say though, there’s so many women doing really big things in this world. And it’s, in terms of men versus women, men very easily show up can act as if. I see so many women that are, oh, well, I’m just some little girl. Especially, and this is supported by statistics, right? Like, if you look at that Hewlett Packard study, a number of years ago, what percentage of the criteria of the job promotion do you need to fit in order to go for the job? Men 50 or 60%? Women need to have 100%, feel they have 100%.

Challenge Your Self-Doubt by Answering These Questions

Susan: I know, that was a great statistic. It was applying for jobs, men felt like, I think was 30. Was it 30%? They need 30% of the job requirements to apply? Yeah. And women wouldn’t apply unless that had 100%? Well, oh, my gosh. Yeah, I think that’s, that’s super important. I think part of the paradigm shift is to say, I think we have resistance, to think it’s selfish or morally not good to think of ourselves first. And I just want to, shift that to: I was talking with a friend who’s very confident and has travelled all over the world and lived in so many places, and she’s both body confident and physically confident. I said, how did you get there? I said, because how do you fit in everywhere? And she goes, I belong to myself. And I thought WHAT?

I want to pose the question, Who do I want to be? Who do I want to become? What are you here on earth to do? Because then every time you doubt yourself, or have that thought you’re going back to like, is that the thought I really want to have? And it’s not to push it away. It’s to accept it fully. But to just say, Well, is that the thought I want to embrace at this moment? Can I just let it go and have a new thought about that? I mean, that is the practice too. And she said, What is my name throughout space and time? A name is a spell. A name is a spell that’s cast when you’re born.

That friend changed her name because her name meant sorrow and dread. She changed it to victorious and all loving and when she did that her whole life changed. So our name is important. Words are important. The words that we tell ourselves, the words that we let others speak to us, the words that we embody. So I think that’s part of the question to ask when you don’t measure up. Or when we just say, you know, I don’t have the accomplishments of the other woman, I think of it in two ways because I have this all the time, too. I wanted to change the title to banish because I’m like, we’re never gonna banish it because it’s just a part of our DNA, not just as women but as people. But just to notice that thought and think of it in two ways.

One, do I want to embody that quality? What is the quality of the person or the, the credentials or the accomplishments and if that’s really important task versus that really important to me, do I want that and then to begin to move toward that. And then the other question is, Is it really true? Like, when people say, like, oh, I’m not all that or whatever, to just come back to yourself and just take that breath and to really expand out. What I mean by that, like in Aikido, first we centre, we ground ourselves, and then we do what’s called extend key or extend energy. What happens when you shrink is you pull that energy in. Okay. So if you’ve noticed that, then you want to think about expanding it out. We do it through our fingertips, but we do it through our whole body, too. So you can even imagine yourself as a body of light, or extending that energy, you can really feel when those people who walk into the room who’ve just extended, right? Mandy, you’ve got that. She is extending it into the world, right? She’s extending it out to you, you really feel that, but to actually practice that physically. I do it sometimes when we practice it on the Aikido floor all the time. Then you forget. Like one second, you’re in focus, the next second you forget. It’s a continual process. And my Aikido instructor, when I was first learning to do forward rolls, I couldn’t figure out something that wasn’t quite right. I’m like, Sensei, somethings not quite right. And he goes, you lose consciousness in the middle. I’m like, what? So in the beginning, I’m fine. But in the middle, as I’m turning over, when you’re up in the air, he said you lose focus in the middle. I just started really focusing on if I can I keep conscious the whole role?

When I’m out walking, sometimes and there’s somebody a block away, I’m like, can I extend my energy all the way out to them, and then see if I can get them to turn around and look at me. And I can do it now. Like, block away, sure the person turns and looks at me, and I’m like, it worked. So you can practice this out in the world. I see you nodding Alex. And Nikki says, I love this. I’m a big personality. I used to hate it. And now I love and embrace it. Yes, I’ve got a friend who’s got a really big mouth and she laughs real loud. And she’s dating and she’s like, you know, if a guy doesn’t like a loud laugh he is not for me! And I’m like, right girl, because your laugh is not getting any quieter and neither are you.

Mandy: Sounds like a him problem.

Susan: Yeah, its a him problem. So yeah, she’s a big personality. And Miriam says she loved that about names. It’s so true. I was wondering if you’re willing to do a process or process as they say it in Canada. There are stories that we tell ourselves, and I was talking to one of my clients who’s a natropathic physician, and she works with women, obviously, who have all of these symptoms. They have symptoms, and they have stories, and they have stories about the symptoms. What she’s found is, when you identify the story, those symptoms go away. And the sum of the story is integrated in the symptoms. Not always, I mean, they’re physically based too. I’m not saying that it’s mentally based, but that they’re connected, let’s say that, they’re connected deeply. So I’m wondering for all of you, if we can just do this together. If there’s a story that, you’ve been telling yourself, like, maybe it’s not your story anymore Nicky, that you have a big personality. But if there’s another story, you’re telling yourself, that doesn’t serve you, if you could just briefly write it down on a piece of paper on the left hand side.

So just a story that you tell yourself. I know, I have the one, “I can never do enough”. I mean, that is so ingrained, it’s so deeply ingrained, no matter what I do, or I’m not doing enough podcasts, whatever that is, I’m not getting out there enough. I’m not, I’m not. That’s one of my stories. So you write that down on the left hand side of the paper, and then you write your new story, on the right hand side. Who is the future you, that has a new story because I think our stories are so powerful. If we could just take two minutes to do that. And just take it and just be breathing. I mean, we are already breathing, but just deep breathing, as you’re writing that to just stay oxygenated. Let’s just do that for two minutes and then maybe share like the old story, a new story, if you like, and if it’s not if it’s too private, no worries about that. I’m going to do this with you.

Mandy: I’ve set a timer. So everybody use this opportunity to actually do the work. With these sorts of things I find that it’s such a great idea and oh yeah, I’ve already thought about that. I’ve already thought that through. No, do yourself the honour of taking care of yourself and writing this stuff down. Now. You got two minutes.

Susan: I love Mandy. We call you Sheryl Sandberg. She said instead of saying you’re bossy, say you have leadership skills.

Mandy: Yeah.

Susan: And you’ve just demonstrated that you’re like this is what we’re doing now people.

Mandy: I know what you’re thinking. Oh, that’s a great idea. I’ve already thought about – NO, do the work! I’m actually kind of talking to myself.

Do all the work for the host and make it super easy for them to share your expertise + invite you back on their show.

Susan: Yeah, me too. It’s great, it’s just about making it conscious. The more we make anything that’s unconscious, conscious, the further along we are. Divine says what are we writing down? We’re writing down the story that we’ve told ourselves that may be negative or holding us back. Just the thoughts that run through your mind. So for me, it was like, I can never do enough. And then on the right hand side of the paper or a separate piece of paper, write down the new story. Like the new you, the future you, who doesn’t have that story. And it doesn’t even have to relate to that story. It could totally different story. Mine might be: I have all the time in this space in the world, to expand and connect with people that I love and who need to hear what I have to say. So that could be an example of it.

Mandy: Two minutes is up, my friends. So I will be the guinea pig. Then we’ll pick on somebody, so get ready to speak and own your power here and this. So get ready somebody else. But my old story is that I will always be at least 10 pounds heavier than I need to be. I think every woman does like her share of body work. Well that’s a Mandy story, if anybody was wondering. But my real story, my true story is that I’m healthy and vivacious and my body accomplishes many incredible feats. Like I ran a bunch of marathons, I made a person – I bet a lot of you guys did.

Susan: Oh my god, you ran a marathon. That’s so awesome. Yeah, your body is working for you.

Mandy: Right! So yeah, I need to feed it accordingly.

Susan: Divine says Mandy inspires me. Yeah. And Alex says, I’ve been weird my whole life. And I’m proud of it. Now.

Mandy: That’s great.

Susan: Anybody want to share their before and after story? Then we’ll do a process. I’ll talk for a little bit more and then we’ll do another process together that you can use continually. That Karen, will also help you with your media. If anybody, wants to write into the chat, what they want to change, remove or improve. Or if that’s too personal, just write in, what quality or what you want and then I’ll incorporate it into the process that we do. So either one: what you want to change, remove or improve or what it is you want instead. Either one of those two sides and we will put that into the process that we’re going to do in a few minutes. Anybody want to share, just take yourself off mic and follow Mandy’s lead.

Mandy: I tagged Karen.

Susan: Great.

Karen: The old story used to tell myself is that I’m terrible at selling and I hate selling. And the new story I have is I have a powerful story to transform life and I’m ready to serve the women out there.

Susan: Let’s celebrate her with our hands. Everybody who’s on camera. Yeah. Celebrate when you do that. Yeah. Yeah, that’s one of the principles of tiny habits. BJ Fogg was one of my clients and I would like lots of time to that tiny habit and forget to celebrate. So like, celebrate, celebrate. That’s great. Maybe one more and then we’ll move on.

Amber: I can share. This has been on my heart a lot. So thank you for this exercise. My before is I’m just a stay at home mom and my future, my now in my future is I empower stay at home moms to amplify their purpose and transform the future with real estate investing.

Susan: Right on. Yay.

Mandy: I have chills Amber. Oh my god. That was wonderful. Thank you. Thank you for sharing that.

Do All The Work To Make It Easy For The Host

Susan: That is great. Great. So Alex wants to be less stressed. Yeah, anything else that you want or anything that you want, pop it in there and I’m going to just move on and talk about some super practical things and then connect it to media training. We talked about the importance of role play and I think that is super significant. Whatever you’re asking for out loud, in a back and forth, with someone else, to actually practice it. Whether it’s asking for more money, whether it’s connecting with someone or referral source or asking. Like every single time I’m on a podcast or something, I asked the podcast host. And I will probably ask Mandy too. Is there someone else who would be served by my knowledge or my information that you can recommend, that you can introduce me, then I have that paragraph at the ready, that she can send. I actually write it all out too so she does no work. She can personalise it, how she wants, but I write it, I do it for them. Do all the work for the person and make it super easy to connect.

But back to the roleplay, if you’re asking for a raise or, or asking a client to pay, you want to do it in real life and practice that till it’s embodied. And so it’s comfortable in you. So Karen, when you’re asking for sales now or asking people to buy your books in bulk, practice that scenario saying to people, would you like, you know, 500 of those? Like in practice and then gauge where you’re clutching. Okay, can I ask for 100? And then, you know, keep doing it and getting past the discomfort. It’s not about affirmations either, there’s a gap between saying you can do something and doing it, it’s about, again, that incremental thing, so it’s not like, I’m all powerful, blah, blah, blah, because your mind doesn’t believe it. So there’s that little in between where you say, I’m moving toward being comfortable selling my book in bulk, for example, right.

For me on the aikido floor, I’m like, super awkward. I mean, I’m a tennis pro, a teaching pro, so I’m pretty accomplished and graceful on the tennis court, not so on the Aikido mat. Like, so klutzy. Like, and this is what I tell myself like, Oh my God, I’m such a klutz. I mean, I’m stepping on people’s toes. I’m not I’m doing this. That was the thing running through my head like, every time I got on the mat, like, I’m not going to be able to do this. And my Sensei would look at me and go, be brave Susan and have courage. You could see it on my face. I’m thinking, I don’t think I can do this, can I run to the bathroom and like, skip this one, you know? So what I started to shift to is, every time I go to practice, I get a little more graceful. Every time I go to practice, to get a little more fluid. Every time I go to practice, I do a little less because Aikido is about the least you can do. Like we have something called a breath throw, throwing somebody with just with your breath. It’s a little effort and they go flying. I mean, the less effort, the better it is. Just taking those incremental steps.

What else did I want to say about that? I want deep, consistent rooted mental strength. Ooh, I love that. That phrasing, deep rooted mental strength, I’m gonna write that down.

Mandy: She’s a copywriter. She’s excellent with words for a living.

Susan: Okay, that is great. Um, anyone else?

Mandy: I think Meriam is an excellent case study here. I want to be seen as credible in the multifamily space.

Susan: I want to be less stressed. So we’ll change that to more relaxed. Yeah, So we’re gonna go through this process and I’m just gonna explain a tiny bit of it but all you need to do is follow my instructions. But the one part that I want to exchange, it’s called the One Command. It’s changing your neurology, biology and DNA. We do this by going into the theta state and we get into the theta state while we’re awake. So delta is sleeping, alpha is awake, and to theta, what we do is we roll our eyes up toward looking up the top of our head, and we’re gonna have our eyes closed when we do it. I just to give you that instruction now and we use the command: I don’t know how. I’m going to say the commands for you and then I’m going to leave an open space for you to put in a couple of commands on your own. So we say, “I don’t know how I can feel more relaxed and comfortable in my own skin, I only know that I can now or I do now, and I’m grateful and fulfilled.” We say, “I don’t know how,” because if you knew how you’d be doing it, and it brings up the unconscious, whatever we are it’s tapping into. It’s tapping into that ability to then be open to the answer. So if I say, I don’t know how, or I wonder, that’s a really great thing to always say, “I wonder how I can be.” I wonder how I can be more relaxed, and then you listen, and you feel what what comes.

The One Command

You can do this, even without doing this process. But you can just say, I wonder how I can be seen as credible, in the multifamily space. I wonder what I can do. I wonder what steps I need to take. I wonder who can help me. You just open to those kinds of questions. And then we say that and then we say it’s so now because there’s no such thing as space and time. Everything is here now, everything is available to you now and all of the greatness that’s inside of you is available to you right now, in this moment. And so we say, “I’m grateful unfulfilled,” just to give back gratitude. Create that circle. So that’s it in a nutshell. So now what we’ll do is, it doesn’t matter if you’re laying down because I see some of you are off camera, so who knows what kind of position you’re in at the moment, it doesn’t matter. I’m going to say you know, as if you’re sitting in a chair, just sit back, feet on the floor relaxed. Then close your eyes. Take a breath in. Relax. Release. Restore.

Taking another breath in, our eyes are going to be closed for the whole process. And then feel your feet on the ground or the floor and begin to imagine that your feet are roots, or that they’re beautiful gems in the centre of your feet going deep, deep, deep down into the earth. Connecting through all of the layers of the earth, the solidness of the Magna, the ancestors that all came before you. All have their wisdom, and the wisdom of any ancestor that you want to tap into. Or any person that has wisdom in your space, or in your personal or professional space. You can tap into their wisdom. All of the animals and the beings and the solidness of the Earth is supporting you. Then at the same time, imagine a beautiful beam of light coming down through your head, into the core of your being, all the way through. That’s connecting to the earth as well.

So you’re connected deeply with the Heaven and the Earth energies. And then begin to pull that energy, that feeling up through your feet, through your calves, through your thighs, through your solar plexus, and into the heart. Align into your heart with what you want. In the alignment, in your heart, can I be accepted and loved for the person that I am and do everything that I want to accomplish in my lifetime, in my legacy, being myself and loved and accepted for all of my great qualities and who I am. And then take a deep breath in and imagine a beautiful light coming up through your heart. And then roll your eyes gently up looking at the top of your head and bring that light to the centre of your forehead and hold, hold, hold. And then let that breath out. Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

And as you do imagine, light before you, light behind you, light to the right of you, light to the left of you, light above you, light below you, light inside of you, light, light, light. I am a body of light and then we talked about extending that out. Start to extend that light and your connections and your influence connecting to anyone who can help you or who needs your service or who can be touched by you. Expand your light, the beautiful golden light, out, out, out, out, out. You are a body of light. Keeping your eyes rolled up, begin to imagine going up out to the top of your head, up out the ceiling of your wherever you are, up into the into the sky, up, up, up, past the planets, past the stars, past all of the Milky Way and you come to a black velvety surface and pop up through that into the white luminosity of all that is. Where all possibility is where everything that you want to happen has already happened where all of your greatness is accessible to you.

Now I’m going to say the commands. I don’t know how I feel so relaxed and comfortable in my own skin, I only know I do so now and I’m grateful and fulfilled. I don’t know how I’m seen as credible in my space, my real estate space or any space that I’m in, in any situation that I’m in, I am seen as credible and powerful in a beautiful being, I only know it so now an ungrateful unfulfilled. I don’t know how I embody my values, and what I want and the information and the transformation that I want out into the world comes to me and flows so easily and naturally, I only know that it’s so now and I’m grateful and fulfilled. I don’t know how I relax into who I am and what I have to offer and know that I’m confident in that, I only know that it’s so now and I am grateful and fulfilled. I don’t know how I expand into everything that I’m absolutely capable of, even if I don’t know it now, I have a trust and faith into that future, I do so now and I’m grateful and fulfilled. I don’t know how I open to all possibility to whatever is possible to me, I expand my mind and open to any kind of new possibility that’s available to me now and I it is so now and I’m grateful and fulfilled.

I’m going to leave a couple open for you. I don’t know how ……. and just fill in whatever your personal thing is. And then you say, “it is so now and and grateful and fulfilled.” I don’t know how _________ fill in your blank. I only know that it’s so now and I am grateful and unfulfilled. I don’t know how______________ I only know that it’s so now and I’m grateful and fulfilled. And relax your eyes. Keep them closed, relax your eyes, and then expand, expand, expand the possibilities for you and see what’s there for you. Do you see any holographic images, any colours, any feelings? Allow whatever is coming in now, any answers, any other possibilities? And then unwind, unwind, unwind all the DNA that says we can’t do it. I’m not enough. I’m not good enough. My body isn’t right. I’m not right. My space is too crowded. I don’t know what I want to do. Unwind, unwind, unwind, and then rewind, rewind, rewind, anything is possible for me. I’m open to all the new possibilities. I’m an incredible person and I have gifts that I want to get out of the world. Rewind, rewind, rewind. Take a breath in. When you’re ready, open your eyes. If any of you want to share any experiences that you had, any feelings that came up, any thoughts, any insights? How was that? What did you notice?

If someone keeps interrupting you, you can use a pattern interrupt by saying their name to get their attention. Angela!

The One Command Takeways

Mandy: I love the feeling of putting my energy out, beyond wherever I thought possible. I saw bright purples and bright like golds. And I mean, that just feels so powerful to me. Alex the wanting to feel more relaxed girl, coincidentally, feels soo relaxed.

Susan: So great. So this is to colour. You know some people always ask me that everybody responds so differently people have you know, some people see things feel things. It’s whatever you ask, what do these colours mean to me? You know and wait for your answer. And you can ask that the next time you do this process you can ask. So it doesn’t necessarily mean anything specifically, it’s just energy moving. What we’re doing is we’re just moving the energy toward the future that’s already available to you now. So this is something that you can do every day. The other thing I want to say it’s called the One Command.

The other thing that I want to say about this is that you only do the command that we just did once, the next time, even if you want to feel more relaxed, you want to say it in a different way. Your command, next time, might be, can be: I don’t know how I’m relaxed in any situation that comes up when I’m doing media or when I’m talking to somebody about what I do. You just want to change it because what we’ve done and what we’ve said, it’s so now, so it’s done. It’s complete. It’s here for you now. That being said, you want to watch what comes up for you so the next thing that comes up is like, Well, where am I not relaxed, and it’s not that you have to be super specific in each situation, but just start to notice where it’s not happening. So then you can do the next command on it and you can do it more specifically or more broadly. However you want in that area, because what happens is kind of like the peel of the onion, as you go further, more and more things just keep coming up. So this is something that you can do every single day. And certainly, if you’re going out for media, the more you can clear your your blocks, beliefs and patterns, the more easily you’ll be able to communicate and connect with your chosen audience for what you want. Does that make sense?

Mandy: You know, kind of a take home I just had, that we’re doing a lot of talking about imposter syndrome and do I belong? And am I enough? The more we can define where and when, and what around where you don’t feel like you belong – that just – shining light on it makes it go become smaller, in a big way.

Susan: Yeah, I agree with that. Now, I know we’ve talked about some very practical things that I want to cover, that I promised. I think we’ve covered we’ve covered the story, and we’ve covered. So I want to talk about how to handle yourself in any situation with any type of personality. We’ve actually talked about that, because that was about the roleplay and the emotion, My client that naturopathic physician, I went up on her Instagram, her five year old son was playing with an eight year old and he said, It’s not about being bad at the start. It’s about practising consistently. I thought that was so great! That is just what we’re talking about doing. It’s that kind of roleplay and consistently practising. I know I’m going to talk about this for in a minute, Mandy, but if any of you are interested in joining the mastermind that I’ve created for six months, what we do in the group is we do roleplay or answering any kind of your questions. So Mandy will pop up a link for that if that’s something that you want to go further in preparing for media. I work one on one with people as well as in a group, which I’m just starting again. So we’re going to create that group mastermind. In that you get the course The Zen of Fame, which takes you through what you need to do to move from private to public person. So we cover messaging, what you need to do to get your system set up so when publicity brings people to your door, you can usher them through it like for a book excerpt Karen, but a whole funnelling process, whatever that process is, to move people to whatever your offer is. The last part is setting up the publicity campaign, that comes with the mastermind, and you work through that as you like. If it’s of interest to any of you to work with me there personally in a group, or solo in the course, that’s something that is an offer for you and I invite you to go deeper with me if you choose if this resonates.

How to counter main problems that can happen during a media interview

I’m going to share with you one thing that you can do for each of these interview types and then you will then want to practice it. Here’s what happens in the lower levels. So this is it doesn’t happen as much when you’re moving towards something like the Today Show, some of these challenges are less. It’s actually with people who are less skilled, that you’re going going to have these challenges. The first one is the uninformed, which is somebody who hasn’t done their research. They don’t know anything about you. They may even get it wrong. They may get your name wrong. They may get your content wrong, it may be totally off. So you want to be able to gently correct someone who says your name incorrectly. For example, they say, “I want to introduce Susan HARO”, all I do is I say Harrow, so I do it with complete equanimity and I don’t go you know, you idiot, you don’t even know my name. But you if you have a name that’s difficult to pronounce like yours, Karen. You want to have the pronunciation there written. You know how you pronounce your name.

One of the things that you want to know how to do with the uninformed if they’re asking you a question that are not relevant is ignore and divert. Now most men know how to do this really skillfully, right? So I study the men. I’m like, yes, we need to know how to do this. You just act like you didn’t hear the question. So let’s imagine someone asked, why is it that women aren’t successful in business as men are or as successful in real estate as men? You’d say, understanding that you have one job and one job only to make your boss successful, is the one factor that will help anyone move up the corporate hierarchy. But you might say something like, you know, research shows that, actually women, because Mandy I think you told me this, that women are actually are more successful in real estate than men. But it’s a it’s a little known fact that women are actually more, percentage wise, more ….

Mandy: hold more wealth. I learned this from Karen, actually, that women hold more dollars, have more wealth, manage more wealth than their male counterparts.

Susan: And so then we actually, yes, that’s such a great point. And then you might want to show an example of that, or broaden it out to your dream, which is, and what I want to do is not only make that a common known fact, but have more women join in so they can grow their business and wealth and one way to do that is with multifamily homes…. then you start to move right into your materials. See where I’m going with that? One way, that’s a really secure investment, if you do it right … is this way. I know Mandy in our women gobundance things you said, you really need to look into the background of the person like that’s like drilled into my head. Who is this person? Because numbers can be manipulated. So that would be integrated into the conversation.

Number two is the Rambler: blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So one thing to do to wrangle in the Rambler is to say their name, Karen! Because anytime anybody’s name is spoken, they pop up, and they’ll stop for a second, and then you can jump in. So that’s something that is gold. And it sounds like it’s so simple, but it works every single time.

The interrupter: so somebody’s constantly coming back to you and not letting you finish your thought. You can just say with this, is like a little more staccato. These are all called pattern interrupts so it’s just, like somebody’s going on a track, and you’re shifting it, you know, in these various techniques. This one’s a little more staccato, just like the name. Karen! I might say it a little bit louder, or I may call Karen. I can do it different ways, right? Divine. Amber???? MIRIUM!!! You know, Carolyn! Any way that you want to do it with that, just to stop it. Okay. For the interrupter, you just want to say something like, because they’re constantly, you might just want to say,”great idea,” and then jump into your own. You can also say, which is really nice, “I wanted to add one more thing to your thought,” because they’re thinking what they’re saying is so important, right. Camilla, or Camila? However, the correct pronunciation is, “I want to add, I want to just add one more thing to that thought.” “Oh, my god, that was such a brilliant thought,” and then you go into what you want to say.

The hostile. Okay, so this is sometimes the most difficult for women. It comes across in either two ways. It’s either aggressive questions, the energy or intimate, questions that are too intimate, that are too personal. How did you as a woman possibly succeed in a man’s world? You must have had help Mandy! Did your husband give you the the nest egg to begin your investment?

Mandy: Feel the bile coming up?

Susan: Right, so we want to get we want to have be prepared for those kinds of questions or the you know, oh, you say women are better in real estate? That’s bubkis. Look around, who owns the world? So if it were something a little more aggressive like that. Really, do you have the statistics to back that up? Let’s hear them. So that’s when you would want to have your research and your statistics and this is where you don’t push back. You might just say something that’s very, so it’s not about bashing the head with the hostile, the way to do that in Aikido., what we do is: We don’t actually hit people in the face and things like that, what we do is redirect the energy. So if its coming toward me here, we take it, and I divert it, and I take someone on the path that I want them to go. Just let that completely go. So somebody says, that’s not true, men are way more successful. You would just want to say something like, we agree many people think as you do, and the research shows, blah, blah, blah, blah,. Or that’s the one of the biggest myths that we have out in the culture today and what I want to share is this is blah, blah, blah, and then you make the transition.

Just say many people think, or you can even name the elephant in the room. What am I about to say, might make a lot of people angry. So that way you take you take away the anger already. It’s like, I remember my literary agent, I’d send him a proposal, and he hadn’t responded and I wrote them back to three weeks later, I’m like, “did you hate it?” You know? When he got on the phone with me, he’s like, “Oh, my God, I’m stupid person. I can’t believe it. You know, I’m the worst guy in the world. If you never forgive me, I won’t blame you.” So he’s like, took all the wind out of my sails. Like, how could I go? Like, yeah, why didn’t you get back to me sooner? Right? It diffused everything. So we’ve got that.

Any thoughts? Mandy loves that? Oh, yeah, the love – and. So we always use and because you’re from improv, we use the Love – And. Then the last thing and I know we’re coming up at the top of the hour, strategies to instantly establish yourself as a credible media guest for podcast panels summits, TV, radio and print. For those of you doing media, and Mandy, I realise I haven’t given you much space to jump in.

Mandy: No, this is pure gold my friend, keep it going.

The Biggest Mistakes People Make With The Media

Susan: Okay. Okay, because I’m like, we, we decided we were going to have it interactive. The biggest mistake that people make is that you don’t solve a problem for the audience or the guest and you are not messaging the magic of your superpower. Those things need to be combined with a topic that is of interest to the media and their audience today. I just have a client, she’s got a book coming out and she’s got a super important topic about sexual harassment, incest, and all of that, you know, and she’s really brilliant. But when she created her press kit, it was all questions about her book, and they weren’t connected enough to what’s going on in society today and the number of women who are abused, harassed and how that needs to be shifted.

I said, we need to broaden that and say, we have the statistics, but we want to drill them down even deeper and show how it’s affecting women now in the workplace, women at home. How do you ask questions like, if want if the abuser was her father? If you want to keep the abuser, your household, how do you protect your children? We need to have those kinds of conversations. That’s how we were connecting it to what’s going on in the culture today, since that’s such a prevalent problem on so many levels.

The second biggest mistake is that you wing it. You don’t have a content strategy. So that is the focus on what are what are the messages and the conversational things that you want to move into the conversation that are going to grow your business in the direction that you want. That gets you the results you want, gets you the clients, contracts, customers, people in your courses, whatever it is. Are you saying the right things to inspire them in a way that does not sound salesy? Right? That you if you have to feel good about it first, because people follow your field lead, you feel good about it, then they feel good about it. That’s where you want to have those case studies or the impact that you’ve made. That’s how you can brag without bragging, is by talking about the impact that you’ve had on the people who you’re working with, or who your courses are, whoever, whatever that is, who your products go to. I think most of you are in real estate, but whatever, to broaden that out.

It is essential to provide proof to your audience. Why are you the expert in your field. Why should they listen to you? This can be done with case studies.

The other thing, that’s a really big mistake that I just heard a podcast, a very, one of the top podcasters talk about is that somebody is that someone is on a book tour or somebody who’s done tonnes and tonnes of podcasts and they’re saying the same thing. She’s not having them on. While I want you to have your messaging down, it cannot be the same thing because otherwise, you’re actually going to have the opposite effect and lose credibility. We’re now like, you’re an automaton and you’re saying the same thing. There’s nothing fresh for me. One of the reasons why hosts like to catch you off guard is for freshness. They want you to say something unique. You want to think about how you can continually gather new examples, from your work from the news for whatever you’re reading, and bring it into whatever interview you’re doing, whatever media, because you cannot be saying the same thing.

Now we want to drill in certain points, of course, and I want that for you. I train my clients, I’m like, but it’s not exactly worded – read it, it’s like, how can we flex those to be dynamic each time? So maybe it’s the same story, but it’s told in a different way? Or it’s got a different epiphany. Or, it’s a completely different example that gets to the same point. Does that make sense to all of you? So that’s a key, even people who are like, on these book tours, and I can tell you, you know, we’re on there, or just on a tour to promote whatever it is that they’re promoting and you hear the same thing you’re like – Yeah, tune out, tune out.

Mandy: So if you’ve been on the other side of it, too, if you’re the one delivering the same conversation, like that gets old too. So like thinking through, like this story will help me get to that same call to action and that story. That’s a really great point.

The Three Essential Messages That You Need For Any Media Appearance

Susan: Then the three essential messages that you need for every media appearance or meeting, I’m just gonna run through these really quick because I know we’re a little past time.

Your signature story, that is the story, every single person is going to ask you why do you do what you do? And we did that together. So why do you do what you do? Why did you write your book? Why do you start your business? Why do you do what you do? Is the first question pretty much everybody’s gonna ask you in any interview.

Number two, are those case studies that I told you about. Those proof, so we’re talking about positioning proof, and preparation. Case studies, like why you are the expert, we want to know, we want you to be the authority, prove to us that you’re the authority through the results that you’ve had.

And then number three is offer advice, entertainment, education, inspiration, it can be how to it can be inspiration, but mix in solid, little nuggets, like here’s something that you can take away, a tip that you can do right now.

Mandy: I love the actionable stuff, like the real hallmark of what we’re trying to do with aspiring women should be more as you know, you hear all these great stories of, “I used to be poorand now I’m rich,” like so what? Like, what is the thing I can do today? What is an example of something I can do? And these are absolutely incredible. If you have not yet been on a podcast, and that’s something you’re moving towards, do yourself the favour of thinking through the, “Why am I doing what I’m doing story,” because you’re going to be telling it. Alex, why did you write the book that you did? Karen, why is mind of gold so incredibly important? Camilla, why did you leave your job and you’re inspiring all these women now. What you’re doing? Think that stuff through. One thing I’m really working on, too, is the clear call to action, because you can go out there and be doing stuff but like, what do you want to push people towards?

Free Gifts To Help You Become A Media Darling

Susan: Oh right I forgot about. I mean, we had a call to action. But also, if you want something free, like you know, on my website, I have so much, so many things. So I think you were gonna pop in those two. So that’s how you we can work together in three different ways if you resonate and want to go further. I also have a page when you go to prsecrets.com there’s a link at the top that says Goodies and there’s lots of things there. We’re just in the middle of updating that, but if you go to the Special Reports page. You can get the 100 word email that can get the media to call you. There’s lots of free things that you that you can download, like right now, that will help you if you’re looking to do podcasts or panels or any kind of media. There’s quite a few in there. But know also because I’ve got my systems in place that you’re going to be put in some kind of funnel. We’re redoing all of those but that’s available to you. I also actually have a lot of free videos on there, on my blog and my on my YouTube channel, which are all pretty much training videos. They are these nuggets, kind of things like, how do you as women, what diminishes your power. All those kinds of things. So that’s all free on my YouTube channel.

Mandy: I love that. Yeah. And this recording will be on YouTube as well. And we will be very sure to put that in. It was a perfect little segue, right like call to action, here’s what you can get, the big freebies. And if you want to dive a little deeper, this is how to do it and the offer that she’s extending to Aspiring Women. So, Susan, I could not be more grateful for your time and for your friendship. I learned from your grace and your expertise every time I get a chance to be in an audience with you.

Susan: So everyone, we’re about complements. So that’s one thing. I’m going to take that in. What did you say something in grace?

Mandy: Yeah, I learned from your grace and your expertise every time I’m in your orbit. So we’ve been working on that too, right? Like really taking in the compliments.

Susan: Taking it in? Sometimes it’s not that easy. It’s kind of like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. But we we want to take that in. So thank you for helping me take that in and thank you, all of you. Amber and Karen thank you so much. If there’s anything that particularly stood out for you, I’d love to see it in the chat. Like any kind of specific AHA that you had, that you’re going to take away. I’d love to see what what resonates with people.

Mandy: Lets give Susan that gift guys, if you don’t mind, pop in the chat. What your primary actionable takeaway, what’s the thing you’re going to institute today or your biggest takeaway from the time?

Susan: Because it’s interesting to me too, like sometimes we have sort of the intangibles, or the stories and the processes. And then we’ve got the little how tos, right? Like, how to respond to different interview types, changing the conversation with myself, changing up my story, more fresh, clear call to action. Great, beautiful, great. Those are all great things. The reason why I like to have them in the chat, stay up on current events and stats, is because you may have missed it. You know, and when somebody else says it and reframes it, it’s like, oh, oh, yeah. Yeah, I can use that, too. That’s why I love that. Practising and role playing interviews. Yes, that’s like the core so wonderful.

Mandy: I also really loved the pretend the question wasn’t even asked, and then say “and.” Like my sweet ex husband did that all the time, you guys. They are so good at that.

Susan: I mean how many, you know, the original research with? Oh, my God, I can’t remember her name. But she did it so many years ago, she was doing a real original research on that. She observed people in the home and I remember a man, she’s written tonnes and tonnes of books, there’s sort of done the original research on. Deborah Tannen! On how men and women, different speaking, and she said, like, a woman was making a salad and she was saying, you know, to the husband, what kind of dressing do you want? And he just ignored it going like, you know what? I think we need to make steaks tonight. But if if the man said what kind of dressing do we want? The woman always answered, you know, we will make this kind of dressing. So this is a really deep practice for us women, because we are so ingrained that we answer the literal question, and we’re good girls, and we’re nice, and it’s easy to please and we do not have to answer anybody’s question ever If we don’t want to.

Mandy: That pertains so much to our the industry that we’re in in a big way, perfect little girl. You’ve raised your hand you wait no, we act and just really do what you want. Do what you do.

Susan: Emojis I don’t know how to use those emojis people been using emojis Victoria just put up, I don’t know how to use emojis on my on my Zoom.

Mandy: If you see the bottom It probably says chat and then screen share dental reactions. Oh, thank you. Okay, all learning all the time. I love it. So great. I want to be respectful of your time, everyone. This will absolutely be up by the end of the day with all of this links. Susan, I can’t wait personally to be working more with you. Everyone, thank you for your time today and.

Susan: Thanks for your participation and being so interactive. I really appreciate it. Thank you everybody.

Mandy: My pleasure. Have a wonderful day guys. Bye bye.