Let Go of Imposter Syndrome + Shine in the Media Spotlight

Let Go of Imposter Syndrome + Shine in the Media Spotlight – Interview by Katana Abbott – Smart Women Talk Podcast

Katana Abbott: Welcome to Smart Women Talk. This is your host, Katana Abbot. I’m a midlife millionaire coach and a certified financial planner, and I search the world for smart women and a few good men, including best-selling authors and thought leaders who are on that leading edge. Join us for conversations on money, business, health, and inspiration so you can live with more purpose, passion, and prosperity. Welcome to Smart Women Talk. This is Katana Abbot, and our theme today is how to let go of the impostor syndrome so you can shine in the media spotlight.

Katana Abbott: I am going to be interviewing world-renowned media coach Susan Harrow about how to confidently build your business and brand through media appearances. We’re going to talk about what it takes to get booked consistently and constantly in national media shows and how to make them count. Ways to exude executive presence while relaxing and being yourself during media appearances on podcasts, panels, and presentations, and how to use your content management strategy to grow your business with those media appearances.

Katana Abbott: So let me tell you a little bit about Susan. Susan is a world-renowned media coach, marketing strategist, martial artist, and author of the best-selling book, How to Sell Yourself. It’s actually Sell Yourself Without Selling Your Soul. For over 34 years, she’s helped thousands of CEOs, entrepreneurs, and business innovators beat impostor syndrome to shine on Oprah, 60 Minutes, the Today Show, Good Morning America, Fresh Air, Marketplace, National Public Radio, and CNN, without selling their souls.

Katana Abbott: Her course, The Zen of Fame: Your Genius Gone Viral, shows people how to promote themselves with integrity and spirit. What you might not know is that she is a black belt in aikido and was almost sold into slavery for 10 camels in a mule. So with that, welcome to Smart Women Talk, Susan. It is so great to have you back here.

Reunions in The Third Act.

Susan Harrow: It’s so great. We were just talking, it was 10 years ago, and how wonderful it is that we women have stayed connected that way. And I think that’s part of the beautiful, natural way of publicity, it connects. Sometimes, you have no idea what’s going to happen or how long that’s going to last. I know even for myself, somebody who saw me speak eight years ago, connected someone else who I’ve worked with 20 years ago; it really opens up a whole world to you that you can’t even imagine, and that’s the beauty and mystery of it.

Katana Abbott: I can’t even imagine, and that’s the beauty and mystery of it. You know, it’s amazing too, because we both have been in this business for over 30 years. And we’re both still here. And we’re in our third act ,and we’re still here. That’s what I mean, you know.

Susan Harrow: I know, I hadn’t even considered it my third act. I didn’t realize I was that far along.

Katana Abbott: Isn’t that amazing? There’s a huge movement of these women that are in their third act and they’re beating impostor syndrome and starting businesses. And they are listening and watching today. Before we go into the media tips, what I’d love you to do is, can you tell us a little bit about your story? Because I’d love to know, is this something that you strived to do? And you know, did you go to college to go into PR and this was your career? Or is it something that you fell into? Was there some kind of triggering event?

Susan Harrow: I love that you asked that question because every single, pretty much every single podcast or media interview is going to start with, why do you do what you do? How did you get started? How did you beat impostor syndrome? And that’s your signature story. And you might even have a couple of them. I’m going to start with when I was in junior high and I was part of three different groups. I was part of the Jocks because I’ve always been an athlete. I was part of the popular girls and I was also part of the artist group. So, I had those three different groups.

Susan Harrow: One day I was walking out, you know, in the, in the expanse of the yard and I saw a big group of people huddle around someone and he was being pummeled. I ran over there and it was one of my artists friends and I pulled off the bully and screamed at everyone like, what are you people looking at? Why does this even happen? I said, get out of here and made everybody go.

Susan Harrow: It wasn’t in that moment that I realized it, but later I realized that I’ve always been a protector of beauty, of the misfits, the Renaissance people; it’s the people who have kind of the wild ideas that have become the people who are really close to my heart, who I love to work with today. So, I work with the people who are the innovators, the creative spirits, the people who are really making a difference to thousands or millions in a significant way and solving our most pressing problems.

Katana Abbott: Wow. So, how did you – that was something that gave you that vision – but how did you end up doing media then?

Merging Storytelling and Sales.

Susan Harrow: Well, I was an English major focusing on Shakespeare. I’ve always loved that. I’ve always loved language and then I was in high-tech sales. I was always taking writing classes. And there was a woman in one of my writing classes, she was a publicist for the North Face. I thought, gosh, that might be a really neat marriage of my sales ability and my storytelling ability. And so I just said to her, can I come and watch you? I went to her home and she was doing PR for Bill Graham Presents and, the Telluride Festival. Big ‘rock ons’, all this kind of stuff. So I just started watching what she did. And she said to me, why don’t you jump up and make these calls?

Susan Harrow: Since I was in sales, I was used to making calls and I didn’t have that fear, in the old days. We didn’t have the internet yet then, and no one talked about impostor syndrome. So we weren’t sending things yet by email. I just said, can I listen to you first to hear the pitch? And I just listened to her and then I just got up on the phone and I started booking people. I started as a publicist and started booking people on shows. And she didn’t really love the client interface.

Susan Harrow: My first client was Missy Park of Title IX Sports. At that time, she was just one person in a huge warehouse. I started placing Missy Park in like the Wall Street Journal and all of these other places. And now she’s the, I think, second biggest retailer in the country for athletic wear.

Katana Abbott: That is magical. And thank God she was open to having you come.

Susan Harrow: Yeah, she was just a gal in my writing class. And then she turned over some business to me. She turned over Missy Park, my first client. And I just started growing from there. At that time, I was focusing on artists, authors and entrepreneurs, who are still super close to my heart. But now I’m working with Ed Tech, educational tech companies, and expansive people who are solving those pressing problems. In some way, shape or form, the bigger kind of gender equality. Those kinds of people who are really looking at these issues that we need help with, that we want to shift the national consciousness. And a good bar of chocolate! I love if you’ve got a snack or something that’s absolutely delicious. I’m totally open to that.

Sell Yourself Without Bragging, Begging, or Whoring

Katana Abbott: You know, it’s funny, I took some media training years ago and they said, if you’re going to go to the TV stations, for example, they said, bring food. And whenever they’re doing a tasting, they’re all starved.

Susan Harrow: Well, journalists are starving for the most part. So, it always is a good idea to bring food or bring a gift, you know, if that’s acceptable in that particular media outlet.

Katana Abbott: So, let’s talk about this idea of selling yourself without selling your soul. Is that one of the things that keeps women from not seeking out publicity? Besides impostor syndrome, I mean, are they feeling like it’s a negative thing? That they’re going to look salesy or something. I’m sure that’s what it is.

Susan Harrow: It’s huge. I wrote Sell Yourself Without Selling Your Soul. I was speaking at the time and it kept coming up that women felt that they were bragging, begging or whoring to get publicity. And it doesn’t need to be so. So that’s why I wrote Sell Yourself Without Selling Your Soul, just to say, there’s a way that you can do it. People call it humble bragging, but I don’t think you actually need to be humble. I think it’s, it’s a way of showing your expertise and your authority through others and telling the kind of stories that connect to the audience and really serve the media.

Flip Your Thinking: Service Versus Self.

Susan Harrow: And if you start to think about it, if we can just flip our thinking into service versus self, then it really changes the whole atmosphere. But this is a huge thing for women. And it’s also a huge thing to speak up. When you’re on a TV panel, or any kind of panel or podcast where there’s more than one guest, or you want to have the ability to jump in, and that takes some practice to be able to jump in to wrangle a rumbler, to know how to handle a hostile person and really be able to role play those situations.

Susan Harrow: Oftentimes when I work with women, either one on one, or in a group mastermind, or in a course, what I focus on is being able to handle themselves in any situation and actually do the role play, because you don’t know how you’re going to respond until you’re actually in that situation.

How to React to Inappropriate Questions.

Susan Harrow: And there was recent research by, I don’t know how to pronounce her name, Judy Wodeska. She was looking at gender harassment in an interview. And she asked all the women, how would you react if you were asked this inappropriate question? Every woman said, I would speak up, I would tell them you can’t talk to me that way. I would say, that’s inappropriate. I wouldn’t take it. And then they put those women in actual interviews, and nobody did anything like that.

Susan Harrow: What happens is, what we think we’re going to do, we don’t actually know until we’re in that situation. It’s the same thing in martial arts and aikido, you have to practice that exact situation, you have to practice those different situations, so you’ll know what it feels like emotionally. What they didn’t anticipate was the emotional feel, how it’s going to be when somebody actually puts you on the spot in a media interview, or in a sexual harassment situation. How is that going to feel? And then, can you take that breath? Can you ground yourself? Can you say and do and be who you want to be? Does impostor syndrome win?

Katana Abbott: Oh, my gosh, I know what it is too, because I do all the stuff with money personalities and impostor syndrome. When you ask them that question, they’re in their head and they say one thing, but then when they actually are in the experience, then they feel it in their body. And all of our experiences are stored in the body. So, when they feel it in their body, that is going back to a past experience that they had at some point in their life, and it’s triggering them, and their little girl pops up and says, don’t say anything. You’re going to get embarrassed, or you’re going to mess up. Then they shut down. And so, what just said, that they have to go into their body and breathe and move that energy, right?

Triggers Connect to Old Experiences and Impostor Syndrome Comes on.

Susan Harrow: That’s exactly right. And I love that you brought up triggering, because I think that’s what happens as we get triggered. Impostor syndrome comes on. Sometimes what happens is that’s connected to an old experience, or trauma, or something that’s happened before that we haven’t resolved. Publicity is as much self development as it is professional development, because you’re mastering yourself to master the media. And you want to start to become aware of where your trigger points are. Somebody just called it a flashpoint. And I’m like, Oh, I’m going to write that down. What’s your flashpoint?

Susan Harrow: I see you writing it down too, I hadn’t heard it like that. I tried to remember who I was just in a casual conversation. I’m like, flashpoint. Or a flare, right? Where we react. And we don’t respond in a way that we wish we had. Now, we can’t imagine every single situation, but usually there’s categories. So we work on worst case scenarios, questions you don’t want to be asked, personal questions. Because a hostile interviewers can react in two ways. One, it’s too intimate, and women get a lot of that, much more than men.

Katana Abbott: What does that mean?

Susan Harrow: It’s too intimate a question. Katana, I love the way that your breasts are hiked up so nicely under your sweater. What kind of bra do you use?

Katana Abbott: Oh, my god. That’s an extreme.

Susan Harrow: But do you know what I’m saying? If you’re women to women, sometimes women do it to each other. It’s not always a man. But a man might say something like, you have a little financial literacy business, Katana, tell how you started your little business.

Katana Abbott: And then again, you get the trigger in your body. And then you feel small.

Susan Harrow: And then there’s the aggressive questions, like 60 minutes, or Bill O’Reilly. I used to train my clients to be on Bill O’Reilly, where you needed to know how to handle yourself when he interrupted you, when he would not let you talk. You had to be able to interrupt back and get your point, and hold steady, and not sweat and turn red and fumble, bumble, or freeze.

Katana Abbott: It’s amazing you’re saying this because I remember when I finally started going out and doing things in the public. I got on boards and I used to sit there and just be so worried that they were going to come to me and I would have to talk about myself. You’re talking about helping people with someone in the media that’s interviewing them when a lot of women still are just the idea of having to do a little 30 second elevator pitch is scaring them to death. What does a woman do when something like that does happen? How do they get their composure? Do you have some tips for us right now?

Managing Your Composure Under Fire so Impostor Syndrome Doesn’t Win.

Susan Harrow: Yeah, so the first thing is remember to breathe, because we hold our breath. What happens neurologically, if you’re not breathing, is we can’t access that part of the brain. It increases cortisol and short circuits our short term memory. One of the things that you want to do is get into the long term memory. You really want to dial in your messaging. Even if you’re caught off guard, you still have access to the long term memory versus the short term, and you can call on that.

Susan Harrow: The first thing to do is take a breath and then feel your feet on the floor, on the ground. So that’s something that you can practice in the moment. But also, I recommend, when I work one-on-one with people or in in a mastermind group, we go through exercises or processes that we do on a regular basis. You can start to build up that mental and muscle memory in you. We might do tapping meditation, The One Command, and then do breath work. You already have it available to you and you’re already like 10 steps ahead.

Susan Harrow: Another thing that you can just do in the moment is touch yourself. If you’re in a seat, you can touch your own hand because that brings you back to the body. And then you can use a transition phrase. You only use this one time because otherwise it’s a buy-time thing, but you can say: “That’s a fascinating question.” That just gives you time to reorient yourself. And then you can say your message that you came to say to say.

Katana Abbott: And you’re complimenting them.

Susan Harrow: And you’re complimenting them. Actually, that’s why I say just use that one time. Because that’s a really nice rapport builder, but it’s also a buy-time.

Katana Abbott: Well, and it also maybe kind of shakes them up a little bit that I didn’t get her, you know? You actually give a compliment. And then it gives you a chance to come back and come in with a different answer. I love the idea of grounding yourself, too. A lot of the time, I believe what happens is we are in our head, and need a little grounding to mother earth. We’re getting into slow twitch.

Susan Harrow: What’s slow twitch?

Katana Abbott: That’s slow twitch energy. It’s really at the base of our spine, in our base chakra. And so, if we can focus on the base of our spine, and you can even do that when you’re breathing to bring you back. Like when you’re breathing in, and then you want to breathe out, breathe out and squeeze your core, or do a little Kegel. It will tear down to your feet. And then, like a bellow, when you breathe in, when you relax your core, then it’s like a bellow and it brings the air back in. And then all of a sudden, you’re in a totally different place.

Kegels to Control and Reset Your Breathing.

Susan Harrow: I love that. I just thought of an exercise that women can do, but you wouldn’t do this on air. You would do it off. When you talked about kegels. One thing that you can do that will really help release your energy really quick. And I learned this from Stig Severinsen, who holds the world record for holding his breath, 20 minutes under ice. Yes. I took his breath class because there are all different kinds of breath, and if we can control our breath, we can control ourselves, we can control the world.

Susan Harrow: We’re not trying to control other people, but the key to self-control is your breath. One of the exercises he had us do is to tighten your throat. You do a Kegel. You’re tightening your anus as well as your Kegel area, your vajayjay area. There’s a nice way to say it.

Katana Abbott: It’s your moola banda.

Susan Harrow: Yeah. So you’re doing moola banda. You’re pulling your core together in the moola banda. And you’re doing your vajayjay and your anus together. You take a breath in and hold it all together. Then you release it and you can make a sound like that. You can actually feel the energy like all along the core and down there. The longer you hold your breath, the more you get that rush of energy. But that’s something that you can practice on your own to just be able to pull your energy together and pull yourself to your body. Just that awareness here, right? Like just to have that awareness of the internal muscles of our body is helpful. Yeah. Do you think?

Katana Abbott: I think so many of us hold our breath, and they say if you hold your breath on the inhale, it raises your stress. If you hold your breath on the exhale, you lose your energy. And I constantly just hold my breath on the exhale, and then do little tiny shallow breaths. And I notice it, because there’s the heart core. They have a little thing you can wear. Heart Math. It tells you if you’re not breathing and stuff. So, if people can get a little tool like that, they can say, Oh my gosh, I’m not breathing. I need to breathe. You know? That’s a great way to do it. But just to notice, are you holding your breath on the inhale or the exhale? And then just practice that breathing.

Focus on Channeling Your Breath Strategically.

Katana Abbott: What Dr. Sue from the Year of Miracles, she uses the channel breath. You’re breathing in through the sun, to your core down to Mother Earth and then back up. So you’re breathing this way, and I like to stop in the core. For some reason, it just takes that sun energy and Mother Earth. I call it the grounding and the energy, because we all want to shine and be powerful. And I think this is going to help everybody.

Susan Harrow: I love that. And I love that we’re focusing on the breath and bringing yourself back to the body. Because I do think there’s a resistance to being in the body, and the more we can be in our body, the more we can feel ourselves as people who are worthy to walk this earth. Then we strengthen that in ourselves, and we strengthen it in others. I wrote down a quote from the I Ching, which explains when you are true to yourself, you are true to the tao, you remind those around you of who they’ve always been. I love that when you bring yourself into this resonance, you can bring others to it.

Susan Harrow: And I think women can really relate to this in terms of their children, but also with customers, clients, students, your course participants, I think it’s everyone. We only change ourselves. We don’t change the world. It’s just working on ourselves and being the example that we want in the world. I love Gandhi’s phrase, my life is my message. You need to be in complete alignment before you put your offer into the world. And that’s when things really start to happen in an organic and natural way, and everything sort of lines up.

Be Confident in Your Body, Or Impostor Syndrome Will Rule.

Katana Abbott: So, you know, I’m glad so glad we talked about this thing with the breath and the body and getting calm, because we’re going to now talk about some of the tips of marketing and PR, and without being able to be confident in your body, none of the tips are going to matter because you’re just going to glaze over and go blank. You don’t want to be get up to go get up there and be turned into dripping mess either, because you’re just too scared.

Susan Harrow: One person who wanted to become a client said her biggest fear was, well, she had a couple big, big fears, but one of her biggest fears was that the media interview would turn into a monologue. She was invited onto a podcast that had a million subscribers. So it was really big, and she said, I don’t want it just to be talking all about me. That was number one, monologue about myself. Her second fear was that she would be inundated with newbie people wanting a piece of her. That she would be inundated with calls, and somebody said to her, you’re going to be exhausted two days later. And then the third thing was that she didn’t have a funnel.

Have Systems in Place before You Put Yourself Out There.

Susan Harrow: I said, well, we can work on all three of those things. You want to say this, you want to learn stories that really resonate with the audience with what they want to know, but you also are speaking to the kind of clients and customers and business that you want to grow your business and you’re designing those stories specifically to that. Then of course, you’re going to have your system set up so you move people into wherever, so they can get to know you better at whatever level they are ready to engage with you. But part of that is taking those newbies and they don’t have access to you.

TWEET: Learn the stories that resonate with your audience and what they want to know, so you can speak to the kind of clients who will help grow your business.

Susan Harrow: And we as women are so generous. It’s like we think we have to serve as everyone know. So those newbies will get access to information that will help them grow. And then the last part is, you know, the call to action. So she and I were talking that, even if you have the right call to action, you have the right stories; if one person engaged with her, that would mean millions of dollars in business, you know.

Susan Harrow: And then, I was just on the phone with another super high level woman yesterday. We were talking about one of the titles of the pot. She was adding more people to her financial real estate brokerage firm. She said, I’m really mentoring some of these newbies, I’m spending a lot of time on that. I said, well, why? I mean, who do you actually want in there? So she said, I need experienced real estate agents. And I said, well, what’s the criteria for that? Because we want to put that criteria into what you’re saying. Then those are the people that are going to reach out to you.

If You Want to Please Everyone, Put Systems in Place So You Can.

Susan Harrow: And when you do get newbies, because you want some, those are going to be funneled to an engagement person that is going to groom those newbies. But she’s not going to talk to them. So she said, Oh my gosh, the title of one of my podcasts that I’ve been doing is is talking about how stay-at-home moms could be become superstar real estate investors. I’m like, you’re going to get stay at home moms! And so she’s like, we have to reshape that whole conversation. Even the title of what she’s talking about, to start to move those people who she wants to build her business and brand into. And she’s extremely multi, multi, multi-millionaire.

Susan Harrow: So it’s this kind of consciousness that we’re shifting as women to say, if we want to serve everyone, let’s put systems in place that we can, but in a way that serves us. We’re looking at what are important things to her; significance, joy. I can’t remember the third one, but it was like having more time to herself. And I said, well, then we want to look at these things that are important to you and make sure that they’re incorporated into your PR campaign and what you say in every media interview, does that make sense?

Katana Abbott: Oh, it’s so amazing. What you just talked about was values. And I was thinking about that.

Susan Harrow: Value, and how do you want, what life do you want to live for yourself? How do you want to grow your business and brand, who you want to work with, what is the structure of your business? Is it supporting that? And then is everything you do, say, think, and when you’re on these media interviews, is it supporting that? You can protect your time, your energy, and give what you want, what you’re here to give, what you came to this earth to give.

Katana Abbott: What you’re saying is so important because most of the people that are out there, they’re having to do the front stage, I call it front stage work. Business development, it’s media, it’s being the spokesperson, it’s the idea person. And if that’s, if that’s your unique ability, then what you need to do is find someone who loves to do the backstage work.

Susan Harrow: Yes. Follow up all the details. Absolutely.

The Marketing Funnel: Entrepreneur, Refiner, Implementer.

Katana Abbott: And there’s one other thing, and I got this from one of my clients and it was brilliant. It’s like a Z. Yes, like a Z. So usually the entrepreneurs, the idea person, they need someone that they can share the idea with. And then that person will say, okay, let’s put a pin in it. Or that’s a great idea, let’s go for it. But they’ll shelve it somehow, right? And then that goes down to the other corner, and they need a refiner. Because if you have an idea, that refiner will refine it and clean it up and give it to the implementer. Because for years, I had an idea and I just gave it to the implementer and it was a disaster. So does this make sense​?

Susan Harrow: Yes, you need the refiner in there. You know, you need the refiner and then you test your ideas out in the marketplace, right? Let’s see how it resonates. Yeah, absolutely.

TWEET: Systems help you protect your time and energy and give what you want, so that you’re free to impart what you came to this earth to give.

Katana Abbott: So, what you have been talking about there, is that what you call a marketing funnel?

Susan Harrow: Yes, a marketing funnel. It’s having those three things in place. So we talked about the Zen of Fame, Your Genius Gone Viral. In that course, I have three different sections. The first is your messaging, because before you reach out to the media, you want to have your messaging down, your key messaging. What is it that you’re looking to grow in your business? You want to have your messaging down before you reach out to the media.

Susan Harrow: And then the second part is you want to have your systems in place. That’s your marketing funnel. So you can move people through an engagement sequence, whatever that is for you, right? Whether it’s on your website, whether it’s a phone call, whatever that engagement sequence is, whether it’s to buy the book, to go into your course. And then the third part of that is to actually create a PR campaign, a strategic PR campaign where you’re reaching out and getting booked in the media, in a way that suits your personality and your style and your energy.

Susan Harrow: When I work with PR firms, they do the booking, I do the media training. And what we really look at is where should we start this person? I have a current client now who’s in the leadership space, and she did incredible research that she started 10 years ago. It’s now starting to move into the general public and other leaders are using it, but it’s not credited to her. But it’s her original research. And she’s got case studies to support this in, in lots of different companies over those past 10 years.

Susan Harrow: What we’re starting for her is starting a campaign focusing on print first, because it’s much harder to steal things when they’re in print. She has a book, but it’s self-published. We’re moving first into the print space. So it’s solid. It’s on this earth, right? And then we’re moving into the podcast space. And then lastly would be TV and radio and then TV, because you want to sort of grow your expertise as well in your comfort level.

Move Outside Your Comfort Zone, Leave Impostor Syndrome Behind.

Susan Harrow: You want to move outside of your comfort zone, but not like in a big leap. We’re doing it gradually but establishing your expertise. So, you are established as the thought leader or the person in your space that then if there’s trademark issues or copyright issues, it’s already been established. And that’s really important for women too, because we’re so generous with our information.

Susan Harrow: Things can be so easily stolen now on the internet. I know this happened all the time in NSA where somebody would tell a story and somebody would steal that story, even though it was their personal story. So, you put that in print and you start to groove it in, into podcasts like yours, or on TV. That story is your story. That way, if somebody else tells it, they go, wait a minute, that’s Katana’s story. You know that’s not your story, right?

Katana Abbott: Absolutely. Wow. That’s great. So let’s take a moment here, because I know before we started our show today, you we talked a little bit about this program. You have the Zen of Fame. I mean, what a great name. What is that? Is that where you take people through this stuff? Because the biggest thing we find: we have a survey that we have and women do when they come in to unlock your financial power at our academy.

Katana Abbott: But the big issue is no one really knows where to start. You know, you hear, you got to do this. You’ve got to do that. You know, no one really knows where to start. And you said messaging systems and then the PR campaign. So I’ve got the messaging and systems. I don’t have a PR campaign. So I’m really interested to hear this. And I know others are listening and feeling the same way. Maybe they haven’t even done the messaging.

Applying The Zen of Fame to Combat Impostor Syndrome.

Susan Harrow: So the messaging comes first. There’s a process that I use where we just listen to the way that you speak naturally, and then start to hone those stories into a form. And so within the course, the Zen of Fame, Your Genius Gone Viral, I have lots of templates, because I think people work really well with templates. There are certain forms that you are going to hear over and over and over again. And a simple one, for example, that you can use right now is headline. So a strong headline, 1-2-3, you always hear this on podcasts: number one, my advice, number two, number three. Headline, 1-2-3, and then you wrap up with an epiphany.

A strong headline and three good points.

Susan Harrow: So, I could have said, if I was talking about the course, there’s three things that are necessary for a PR campaign. That’s my headline. It doesn’t have to be super sexy. You can just be like that. Or you know, it could have been like the biggest mistakes that people make is not having these three things in place for a PR campaign, right? I could do it one of those two ways, and there’s probably a dozen ways I could do it. Number one, they don’t have their messaging down. Number two, they don’t have their systems in place. And number three, they don’t have a very conscious PR campaign that is going to put them into the places where they’re going to be seen, heard, and connecting with the people that they want to do this mess with. Wonderful. That would be an example.

So, we’ve templated those kinds of things. And in that course, we also offer the course on its own, which you can go through your own at your own pace. There’s videos in there. There’s lots of support in PDFs videos, audios, what all the different mediums.

Susan Harrow: The other level of support, if this resonates with you is to be in a mastermind with me. Once a week you’re in a group, working through any kind of challenge that you have, but also can role play actual media interviews. So everything from the uninformed, the rambler, the interrupt or the hostile, just to shape your your campaign and do that on a gradual basis. Because here’s the thing, when I work with the PR firms as well, we work first with getting the core messaging down. And then after that, it’s an iterative process. You’re booked on a segment or you’re booked in print, for example. And then I media train you for that specific medium, because print is way different than planning for a podcast, right? And how you can manage those interviews.

Susan Harrow: Then we look at what did you do well? And what do you want to shift for next time? So then those 10,000 hours of improvement is like you’re making little changes the whole way through. You can say, Oh my God, this is where I got derailed or I wish I would have said that. I totally forgot, you know. All which happens to all of us, it happens to me too. I’m like, Oh my God, that was 1.01 to make and I totally forgot. So it’s about being compassionate with yourself, but really starting to become aware of what we talked about: those trigger points. But really, being able to manage yourself in those interviews. So you are connecting deeply with your audience and you share the things that you came to share. And really what you came together for.

Impostor Syndrome is When Your Beliefs About Yourself Make You Feel Small

Katana Abbott: Oh, and I love that because even if you do an event and then you feel it was horrible, others are not, you know. You have such a high standard for yourself, they’re not going to know. But the most important thing we can do whenever we have a mistake or a bad experience is to breathe, and then sit down and look at it because our mistakes and issues like that are our greatest teacher.

Susan Harrow: I agree. And I know, I think you’re wrapping up, but I want to make sure to talk about impostor syndrome because we have a test, just in case. So if we can, that would be super great. Because I think, you know, it was so funny because in my own mastermind class where I’m being mentored by someone, one of the people in that class said, Susan, I don’t think you should call it impostor syndrome because I think a lot of women don’t relate to that. And I said, really? She said, you should call it like occasional self doubt or something.

Susan Harrow: I’m thinking, gosh, I don’t know, I’m seeing impostor syndrome everywhere. And people kind of actually glorifying it. Like, I have impostor syndrome, then talking about their situation where they’re stuck in impostor syndrome. And I thought, well, we’re just proving it in them. If we’re giving constant kudos for having impostor syndrome. So do you mind, should I go and talk?

Katana Abbott: No, I want to do that, and I’ll say something about that. I got invited to come to this women’s organization because I had raised $10,000 for them in a sponsorship. It was really exciting. It was all these VPs from the big companies in Detroit. I go into the special boardroom before the event, and they all think I’m a vice president of American Express. I left there and I went, wow, people see us so differently than we see ourselves, because we see ourselves through the eyes of that little girl with all those disempowering beliefs, right? And that’s where you feel like a fake, the impostor syndrome. I think it’s a major issue. It’s probably the biggest issue that we have is these beliefs because they keep us playing small. So please, please share.

TWEET: Impostor syndrome is seeing yourself through the eyes of that disempowered little girl.

Release Blocks, Beliefs and Patterns That Hold You Back.

Susan Harrow: Yeah, I really think so, too. I want to address this on a super practical level, because, you know, we all have our own blocks, beliefs, and patterns. We just have them. So to think that this is going to go away, when I say let go of it, I really mean it’s a process. Just like doing these media interviews is an ongoing process. We’re always taking shape, and reforming ourselves. So I think that we’re really three people. We are our past, we are our present pre-person, and then we are our future self. When you keep in mind your future self, how do I want to be? What do I want to live into? What’s the legacy I want to leave?

Let Go of Impostor Syndrome by Defining What You Want.

Susan Harrow: To really have this in your mind, it’s the same thing when I work with anyone we talk about, what do you want the results to be of your media campaign? What is it that, and are we always moving toward that? So, we’re always looking at that. When we’re going through that iterative process, and you go, darn, I didn’t do this in the media interview, it’s like, we’re keeping that deepest intention, how I want to serve, and what I want to, to give to in the interview, always we’re keeping that in mind, and then moving toward that.

Susan Harrow: And it’s the same thing with impostor syndrome. It’s like, when you have that jealousy, you’re on a panel, and somebody gets introduced, and you go, my God, their credentials are so much bigger than mine, and they’ve done so much more. And oh my God, I’m small, I’m little, and I don’t even want to talk now. She’s got the light, and I’m going to be in the shadows, and nobody’s going to like me. These are the things that are running through our mind at the same time, right?

Impostor Syndrome Starts When You Compare and Despair.

Susan Harrow: The first thing to think about is to take that breath, and to say to yourself, focus on what is it that I am here to give, that only I can. You’ve prepared some talks, but in retrospect, you want to say, does that have qualities that I want? And if so, you want to set yourself up on a path to move toward those qualities. But in the moment, when we feel that, that excruciating compare and despair, that’s when we want to take the breath and bring us back to ourselves and say, who do I want to be in this moment? What am I here to give the audience?

Susan Harrow: Then to prepare for that, you can do this before you do any kind of panel, is really start to gather all of your testimonials, your random compliments. And I know whenever I’m feeling super insecure, I call up all of my friends and say, just tell me all the good things about myself. Tell me, and then they say these things that I’m like, really? You know, and my friend, Sark, she’s really great at this kind of thing. She’s the one person that I call too.

TWEET: Fight off impostor syndrome by focusing on what you are here to give. Stop comparing and despairing.

Katana Abbott: Did you say Sark?

Susan Harrow: Yes, Sark.

Katana Abbott: Yeah, oh, wonderful.

Revisit Your Accomplishments When Impostor Syndrome Hits.

Susan Harrow: Yeah, she’s one of my dear friends. And so, one of the things that she asked for, wasn’t this last year, but before, for her birthday present. She had us all write out everything that we loved about her. And yes, and all the circumstances. So she has that in a file. You know, so if we’re doubting ourselves, we need to look at number one, our accomplishments, on paper. We want to have those. So we’re like, you know, is this really true?

Susan Harrow: Like the Byron Katie question, is this really true? Do you have evidence of this? Do you have your evidence already stacked up? So, you can say, actually, it’s not about the evidence. It’s about my feeling inside, right? And then we have processes like tapping and the one command to work on those feelings when they come up. So, as you continually to work on those issues, they diminish.

Use Authenticity and Service to Release Impostor Syndrome

I just read another piece on Vivi Kananda, Swami Vivi Kananda. And he’s not someone very well known in the western culture, but my mom brought back all his books from India when she went like 30 years ago, with the ball. One of the things that he had said is, in terms of focusing on the self, is that we like we never teach anyone anything, we just bring out the good in other people. What I think about impostor syndrome is, we’re focusing on bringing out the best in other people. And so, if we’re not doing that for ourselves, then other people, you can’t do it for someone else.

Katana Abbott: Oh my gosh. And then also, all their credentials don’t mean anything if people hear you speak or have a conversation with you, and that comes through. Right? Authenticity and service. Yeah. Oh, I love that. So we’re at the top of the hour. And I will point out how you are so brilliant on an interview, is that you reminded the host. I had lots of things I wanted to ask, but you brought up the most important thing, which I we really didn’t want to miss. So I think people should point that out.

Susan Harrow: I just heard a great phrase on Terry Gross. She did an interview yesterday with this woman, on it was on child care, the child care issue and gender inequality right now. And she said, what was the phrase that she said that was so great? She goes, you haven’t yet asked me about such and such. And she went right into it. She goes, we haven’t yet touched on that, and she just went into it because it was it was something important about women in the workplace. I don’t remember what it is, but I’m like, I have to write down that phrase and I was driving so I couldn’t write it down. I’ll have to go back to that interview and find the exact phrase. I love that because Terry Gross is such a fantastic interviewer. But this woman wanted to get out this one point that hadn’t been asked. And she said, we haven’t touched on this, or something like that. And then she went into it.

Katana Abbott: And you just did that?

Watch Other People and Reverse Engineer Their Moves.

Susan Harrow: I guess I did. I guess I incorporated it. I just did, yeah. So, I just learned that. I’m always on the lookout for those kinds of things because the way that I developed the Zen of Fame course, and my whole philosophy in working with people, is watching people who do this well and reverse engineering. Then I put it into a form, or a formula, or a template, if possible. I ask myself, what do I do, how did that work, why was that person so effective? And then I reverse engineer it and write it out and say, well, that’s a format that.

Susan Harrow: Or if we try to take what you say and jam it into something that doesn’t fit, we go, oh, can it be more succinct and can it be better if we tighten up the form? And sometimes not, you know, there’s a million forms. There’s not just one way of saying something, but it’s a way of consistently being able to create your own messaging in a way that’s easy for you.

Katana Abbott: Right, right, because it has to roll off your tongue or you’re going to feel like a fake.

Susan Harrow: Yes, exactly. Yeah. It’s got to feel good to you. That’s the most important thing. It’s got to feel good in your own bones. Yeah. And so don’t ever let any media trainer try to put words in your mouth that don’t feel like your own, or anyone for that matter.

When You Align Your Messaging, Everything Shifts.

Katana Abbott: Yep. And when you get aligned with your brand. So just this last year, I rebranded from retirement reinvention to my registered trademark midlife millionaire, which is brilliant. But I had it hidden all these years. It was there, but not really. Long story about it, I have a dear friend and I got in her program and she had the whole class vote on it, you know, on zoom. I went back and I did it immediately. Then everything shifted. I’ll also say that when we’re not aligned with our path, with our life path, or our purpose. What happens sometimes, well, I have to think it happens a lot, is it gets very difficult. Because the universe is going, you’re on the wrong path, you’ve got to readjust. So then when you get aligned with your messaging and your branding, everything shifts.

TWEET: Everything shifts when you are aligned with your true self, and your key branding messages reflect that. Find the sweet spot. That’s where magic happens.

Susan Harrow: That’s such a brilliant point. I’m so glad you brought that up because words are the ambassadors of our spirit. And you making that shift then shifted everything. So that’s the importance of words. But it’s also the importance of the feeling tone behind the words, your tone, the way that you communicate it, your facial language, your body language, and your verbal language. That’s what all needs to be in sync, and your enthusiasm. What’s resonating with people is that particular phrase. When I heard you say it, I’m like, Oh my God, it’s so brilliant. And I saw it on there. I’m like, well, that’s brilliant because it’s exactly what it is. It’s easy to say, it’s easy to remember, and it’s what you do.

Katana Abbott: Right. I finally have it out there. And I’m just so excited. So on the next show, I’m going to bring in my web designer, the copywriter, and then the funnel person that helped me with rebranding and getting it all in place. Because I think we need this. We brought you first. And then we’re bringing them to talk about that because people probably want to know more about that too. So how do people connect with you? Because this has just been such a brilliant conversation. I mean, they’re going to want more. I know everyone listening wants to know more. And your website is such a perfect example of a nice way to get to know you.

Susan Harrow: Thank you. It’s prsecrets.com. And on there, there’s a whole section of free things that you can download. So that’s a wonderful place to start. Should we mention one of the names of the things?

Katana Abbott: Like I first came into the website, I just signed up for it. You have an offer immediately. Can you go ahead and talk about it so they know what to expect?

Susan Harrow: It’s a pop up. So it’s the 100 word email that can get the media to call you. It’s how to be super succinct when you’re pitching. And again, you want to have your messaging down before you do the pitch. But this is a way to just have a very succinct pitch because we’re also time scrunched now that the paragraph pitch is starting to be the way to go. You can always give more information later. And then the other one was Own Your Worth, five ways to say no without blame, shame…I think I said something else, but I can’t remember.

Susan Harrow: I just I wanted to give that to your women too, because it focuses on boundaries, but it also gives you these really great scripts in nice ways to say no and how to navigate the no’s in in various ways. From somebody asking to pick your brain, to asking for inappropriate things. I think I’ve got asking for a raise or just asking for more of whatever that they want.

Katana Abbott: Wonderful, wonderful. So say the website again.

Susan Harrow: prsecrets.com. Thank you for prompting me. Yeah. That’s a dot com like public relations secrets dot com. And I look forward to meeting all of you. There’s a place there where we can connect on any level that’s ready, that’s right for you.

Katana Abbott: Wonderful, wonderful. And when your next program comes out, anyone who’s on our mailing list, they will receive will also help promote your next event coming up. Because I really want to share you with everyone. Thank you so much for coming here today and sharing your brilliance and just being so generous.

Don’t Ever Wing It, Prepare So You Can Be Spontaneous.

Susan Harrow: Thank you so much. I’m so thrilled and I can’t wait to reconnect with all of your audience. Since it’s been two 10 years, you have a lot of people who we’ve all aged gracefully together and then new people coming in. I can’t wait to meet all of you.

Katana Abbott: Now we’re the sages. I love it. Do you have one tip, one smart women tip you’d like to leave us with?

Susan Harrow: You must have a content messaging strategy. So what that means is you want to have a variety of stories: statistics facts, maniacs, anecdotes, analogies. That shape shape the way that you work in the world that is going to grow your business in the direction that you want. It’s a very conscious strategy that you then integrate into the normal flow of conversation. Why is that necessary?

Susan Harrow: I just listened to a podcast host and she said, oh my god. She said, I had on this really famous well-known speaker and he completely bombed and she couldn’t figure it out. And she talked to him afterwards. He goes, I’m not getting anywhere with my podcast. Nothing’s coming of him and she said, well, did you prepare for this? He said, no, I just wing it. So, my tip is don’t ever wing it. Be completely prepared. So be completely prepared so you can be free to be spontaneous.

Preparation can help fight impostor syndrome.

Integrate Your Key Messages into the Flow of Conversation.

You want to have your key messages down that you can integrate into the flow of the conversation. So each time you’re on a podcast or a TV show or print whatever that is, you are reaching the people that need and want what you have and you’re growing your business in the direction that you want.

Katana Abbott: Wow, perfect. And that’s a little bit about sound bites. So, if women want more of you, visit prsecrets.com. Everyone, thank you for joining us. We just love sharing these wonderful thought leaders and change agents with you. If you want to know who is coming to the show, please come to joinsmartwomen.com. You’ll get our monthly theme-based easing and you’ll know who the guests are and the guest share articles and goodies and when they have an event coming up, we promote it. You want to go to joinsmartwomen.com and join the smart women community.

Katana Abbott: Don’t forget to subscribe to Smart Women Talk at your favorite podcast platform, as well as our YouTube channel where you can actually watch it. And it’s YouTube, Katana Abbott. Until our next show, go out and live with more purpose, passion and prosperity. Smart Women Talk is brought to you by Smart Women’s Empowerment, a 501c3 nonprofit project of United Charitable music by Bill Lucas from his album, When It Rains. Available on Apple, Music and Spotify. Catch us wherever you listen to your favorite podcast and be sure to join our free community at joinsmartwomen.com to access all our free smart women resources.

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Hi, I'm Susan

I’m a media coach, martial artist + marketing strategist who helps you communicate your values, mission + message during media interviews to multiply your revenue while building your brand + business. I believe that you don’t need to brag, beg or whore yourself to get the publicity you want. Nor do you need to be an axe murderer, a shamed sports star, or be involved in a sex scandal. There is another way…

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